#BUT she cares and is happy for them both!
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quarterlifekitty · 3 days ago
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I just read the baby trapping HC’s… what if it was the reverse? reader baby trapping THEM
I think that depends entirely upon how cleverly you went about it! I’m gonna answer this with the assumption that they match your freak on the matter lmao
cw: dubcon, baby trapping
And as a preamble: it’s literally so easy for you. For any of them. Because quite honestly if they’re hard, and you say you’re on birth control, they’re gonna believe you. And really, most of them probably would’ve just assumed you were if you let them hit it raw. But we’re gonna say you lied about being on the pill for this ask.
Gaz is such a sweet guy. He’s literally just like “I’m happy if you’re happy, love” when you tell him the news. These things happen, and he has no reason not to believe you, right? What does it matter as long as you’re both happy?
Soap has his suspicions about it. But again, it’s not like he was really pressing you for reassurance that it was safe when he came inside you— when he gets like that, the dog in him takes over and there’s no stopping him. And maybe he’s not sure initially, to be honest, but then he thinks about a little bundle that has the same eyes as you, and he just can’t bring himself to be upset. Even if you are a liar.
Ghost, regardless of how he feels on the news, is going to investigate. He can’t help himself. Fucker is nosy. And you would’ve known this! So you’ve got it all set up for him to find. Water glass on your nightstand, the drawer just slightly ajar— not even enough to see inside, but enough to make him curious. He opens, sees the round of pills, and the timing all checks out. All taken right up until recently— when you tested positive. And you’re not careless to leave them in the trash. They were flushed. And from before that— you have drawer in the kitchen where you often shove the stray contents of your handbag. And there are receipts. A few months worth, from the pharmacy, with exactly what you bought. If you have a menstrual/symptom calendar app on your phone, it’s all logged. There are notifications in your reminder app telling you to refill your prescription. A number in your contacts that matches up with the doctor listed on the prescription. It’s the fact that it’s too neat that tips him off. Every piece of evidence he could’ve ever asked for is there, and that’s how he knows it isn’t natural. And it makes him smile. It’s touching— how much care you put into securing him in your life forever. Kid’ll be a terror, with the two of you as the parents. Too capable.
Price had a feeling in his gut when you told him you were on the pill. He thought about pulling out just to see how far you’d take things. In the end, finishing inside of you was like calling your bluff to him. He’d be fine with waiting a month or two to see if he was right. In the meantime, he’ll be looking at paint swatches for the nursery.
König is not looking a gift horse in the mouth. But if he does find out, he’s actually grateful. Saved him the trouble of asking you to have his baby, which was just one of a few questions wracking his nerves when it came to you. And this provides him the perfect opportunity to ask you to marry him! Doesn’t have to torture himself with sussing out your ring size, the kind you’d want, waiting for just the right moment. He asks you when you tell him you’re pregnant— it’s like everything is coming together. It’s a fairy tale ending for him!
Nikolai confronts you when you tell him that you’re pregnant. There’s a sly smile on his face. He teases a bit. Isn’t that just so strange? That you’d be unlucky enough for that tiny little chance of it failing was enough. And he has a way of making you squirm, of prodding you until you tell him what he wants. You can’t help but smile when he smiles, feeling a little giddy. He makes it seem all light and cute— so you do spill the truth. And he’ll pick you up and spin you as he laughs. His malyshka is so naughty, isn’t she? Lying to him like that, like he wouldn’t find out. Like wouldn’t give her a baby just as soon as she asked. Like he wasn’t planning on pulling a similar move in the near future.
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jinxvex · 3 days ago
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HIII!!! girl your sevika x reader bartender fic was so hot her talking them through it omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 if you take request could you do sevika x reader established relationship nsfw head canons or sfw head canons anything that make you comfy :333
♱ gf!sevika (established relationship) headcanons!! ♱
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omg!! first request!! thank you anon, i'm so geeked rn omg 😆
i'll do both sfw & nsfw because i'm seated 4 both 🤭🤭...
cw: smutty shit, dirty talk, pet names, that shimmastrap, roughness, daddy kink (DON'T BE AFRAID IT'S NUN WEIRD), vulgar language, just plain smut OKAY?
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚
SFW:
♱ she loves taking care of you! she loves when you can’t reach for something and you have to ask her to get it for you (it’s canon that she’s tall asf). she definitely has a smirk on her face when you’re struggling to open something for a while and she comes over and opens it in on the first try… + trust, you wouldn’t even have to ask her to carry your bags/things because she does it unprovoked (ahhh!! 🫠).
♱ to stem off of that, she loves buying you shit with her poker money + providing you with anything you need. 
♱ you always catch her staring at you! it makes you so flustered that you always look away + she turns your chin towards her so that you’re looking into her eyes and goes “don’t be shy baby, it’s just me.” and “what? i can’t look at you?” with a cocky smile on her face (cuz why u playinggg LMAO). 
♱ loves to train with you and humble you by pinning you on the floor after your attempt to take her down. 
♱ calls you all kinds of sweet nicknames (even early on in the relationship, she doesn’t gaf.) “baby,” “babe,” “princess,” “angel,” “sweetheart,” “mama,” “doll,” “love,” “darling,” “beautiful,” everything you could possibly think of! 
♱ oh she’s not even looking at other women and she gets hella possessive/jealous if anyone looks your way as well (literally just wrote about this lol). 
♱ sevika is very protective of you in public and always has an arm resting on your shoulder and waist! (also so people know you’re hers).
♱ when you both go out to eat this woman always has to sit by you and rest her hand on your thigh because she’s literally OBSESSED with you. she would rest her hand on your thigh in the car as well! (she’s driving WBK). 
♱ she’s hesitant at first! but she eventually lets you craft her a skin and body care routine. she’s very set in her old ways and has the whole “use what works” attitude when it comes to skincare/shower routines. BUT! she does love watching you get excited when you talk about what ingredients in skincare will help with what.
♱ like i mentioned above, she’s more of a listener and prefers to listen to you talk.
♱ sevika feels SO guilty when she makes you upset. she will literally get down on her knees and look up at you, eyes asking, NO, BEGGING for forgiveness. “i'm sorry princess. forgive me, please?” 
♱ she loves doing arts and crafts with you IDC!! she may try and act like she hates it but she loves it deep down! she’s the same way when you ask to do her makeup. the only way she’ll tolerate you doing it is if you sit on her lap while you do while her hands rest on your waist/ass. (what if i said she would be feeling herself in the mirror after you’re done) 
♱ as much as she loves solitude, she gets more clingy as the days go by! every single day she falls deeper and deeper in love with you and would do anything if it meant making you happy. don’t get it twisted though, she hates rollercoasters/amusement parks full of people so if you wanted to go, go with some friends girl…
now... *mariah carey voice* it's timmmmee 😫😫😜
NSFW:
♱ to start strong, DARE I SAY, sevika has a thing for titles during sex. *ahem* daddy kink (don’t kill me!!). i headcanon she didn’t bring it up first though! you may or may not have let it slip out while she was fucking you hard into the mattress. a single “f-fuck daddy! right there!” and she’s pressing you deeper into the mattress as she slowly (but ROUGHLY) strokes her cock inside you. be prepared to repeat yourself when she asks, “huh? what did you say baby?” + “what did you just call me?”. she calls you a “dirty fuckin’ slut” for wanting to call her daddy (she loves it).
♱ also, be prepared for the “who’s your daddy?” jokes because she thinks they’re HILARIOUS + refers to herself as “daddy” in the third person.
♱ eating you out is her favorite pastime! + loves the way you taste and cannot get enough. 
♱ SHE 👏🏽 IS 👏🏽 AN 👏🏽 ASS 👏🏽 WOMAN. not to say she doesn’t love the rest of you but you’re always catching her staring at your ass and she is not ashamed! she will have that same “can’t look at my woman?” attitude. she will also come up behind you when you’re doing the dishes or laundry and will grope your ass and bury her head into your shoulder to inhale your scent. 
♱ a giver!! she prefers to give instead of receive because she’s giving dom!top but… who said she would refuse you giving her pleasure? never that. sevika loves it when you ask to touch her! she pushes your head down when you’re eating her out like she’s throatfucking you. “fuck baby, this mouth feels so fuckin’ good.” + “love this slutty fuckin’ mouth” 
♱ makes you suck the strap before you take it… nothing further…
♱ she loves seeing you in lingerie and tells you to give her a “show” (stripping your clothes until you’re in your lingerie and giving her a lil dance 😵). she’s all like “this all for me?” + “bend over.” when you show her your little outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination. 
♱ eye contact is important to her! she will force you to make eye contact with her as she’s fucking you and if you don’t…. “gonna stop if you don’t look at me dollface.” + “look at me when i fuck you.”
♱ the dirtiest dirty talker of all dirty talkers OMG. it’s insane how nasty she can get with you but it makes you so needy for her! ↓
♱ “fuuuck this pussy’s so good to me baby.”, “shits so fuckin’ wet, you’re dripping all over me.”, + “look how i’m stretching this fuckin’ pussy out”… and the list goes on.
♱ the dirty talk gets even more vulgar when you ask her to cum in you. breeding kink goes CRAY TO THE Z. ↓
♱ you’re all like, “yes! yes! c-cum in me, please daddy!” + she’s like, “gonna fill you up baby, gonna give you all this cum.” and “you gonna let me put a baby in you angel?”
♱ she LOVES it when you’re rough with her. scratch your nails down her back! pull her hair! mark up her neck!
♱ sevika does love soft sex as well. she is a softie at heart DO NOT FORGET! as much as she loves to degrade you and throw you around, she loves to worship your body and kiss you all over! she loves to praise and tell you how gorgeous you are. “you’re so beautiful baby, you know that?” + “you’re always so good for me, my good fuckin' girl."
hope you like anon!! thank you for the request! had fun writing this 😘
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dollyichi · 1 day ago
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THREE PEAS IN A POD . . . husband ! katsuki bakugou featuring your two babies / f ! reader / fluff / the both of you are already parents!
katsuki definitely prides himself in having two beautiful babies and the family you built together.
one girl, one boy (he’s older just a bit), and it’s funny how despite you being the one carrying them for 9 months his genes won in a landslide. however, your baby boy has eyes just like yours!
what you didn’t know, was how much they actually took after their dad. it was beyond their physical attributes.
katsuki finally had a day off and as much as you wanted to skip work that day and spend time with them, the projects just kept piling up that you couldn’t even fake a cold.
he reassures you that he can handle them.
katsuki’s woken up by his two little runts, shaking him in excitement. he’d pretend to sleep for a bit, peeking with one eye open to see them frowning at each other because he’s taking too long to ‘wake up.’ only to sit up and grab them. they squeal in surprise as he pulls them down to his chest, twisting and turning—putting them other the covers, already having so much fun at the start of the day.
after he made them breakfast he wanted to take them out to the mall, spoil them a little bit. they were really well behaved (something you taught them well!) and didn’t fuss even when they missed you. thinking that if they’re sad you’re not here, daddy will get sad too and they wouldn’t want that—today’s supposed to be a happy day!
at the mall he’d get a few compliments and whispers from moms and fans. how they look so much like him, how they even walk like him! it’s really adorable how he made them wear matching outfits, even sunglasses! two mini bakugou’s!
but genetics weren’t the only thing they got from him you see. they visited all types of shops, getting a few things of what they want here and there because katsuki always said to “just get anything you want.” their eyes are so bright and full of excitement. he has to slouch a bit while they’re walking hand in hand, bringing him to every aisle they take an interest in while he follows happily.
still, a phrase would always pop up from one of them. “maybe mommy would like this!” or “should we buy these for mommy too?” and they’d be showing it to him so proudly he’s almost melting. feeling so proud that a part of his love for you transferred onto them as well. they’re absolutely his kids, no doubt about it. ends up getting everything they wanted to get for you.
doesn’t even care if it’s obvious that you’re their favorite. chuckling to himself that the bags he’s carrying is mostly stuff the kids picked out for you. besides, you never asked for anything, but they listen real well, just like their father. “i hope mommy’s happy with all the things we got her!” your daughter says while he helps her with her seatbelt. “she definitely will be.”
and when you get home you see he’s watching them from the couch as they set on their little chairs drawings happily. when they realize you were there all three of then stands up to greet you. and you give each of them a kiss.
when you helped sort out some of their ‘shopping’ you see a this really expensive coat that you were eyeing just a week ago while your little girl slept on your lap (you didn’t know she was peeking from time to time).
you’re so happy you ended up hugging him so tightly, “oh my katsuki, how’d you know?” and he would shake his head with a smile, “i didn’t pick that one babe, she did.”
yeah, they definitely take after him at least eighty percent!
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do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works
note : papa katsuki cradling his little ones in each of his arms while carrying the bags without the need of a shopping cart… i’d be asking for baby number 3 idk what to name these two ><
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no-144444 · 1 day ago
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fulfilled- m.verstappen
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summary: max reflects on his life.
pairing: dad! max verstappen x fem! wife! mom! reader
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The soft light of the rising sun peeked its way under the blinds of your shared bedroom as Max stirred awake. He yawned, knowing he could stay in bed a little longer, but also knowing that any moment, 2 toddlers would run in and wake the two of you up, and you deserved a bit more sleep. He quietly left your room to find his two sons, just outside the door, ready to pounce. They jumped on their father, wishing him a good morning as he chuckled, picking the both of them up. 
“Can we have pancakes for breakfast dad?” Arthur asked, pulling on his t-shirt. 
“No! We should have waffles!” Quinn argued. Those two were twins, but couldn’t be more opposite. Arthur was the quiet, polite, kind child, whereas Quinn was the crazy, funny, sweetheart. 
“What about both?” he offered, and they both nodded, a multitude of ‘thank you’s’ on their lips. 
As they walked to the kitchen and Max placed them down on the counter, giving them clear instructions to measure out the dry ingredients, Layla walked out from her room. 
“Dad!” she cheered, hugging his legs. Layla was 8. The boys were 6. Max couldn’t believe his life. He’d left F1 8 whole years ago, and he couldn’t have made a better decision. He adored being around all the time for the kids. He loved walking them to school, planning playdates with his dad friends, teaching them all about life through his lens. Honestly, he’d been terrified when he found out you were pregnant the first time. You two had been married for 2 years, but you hadn’t spoken about when you wanted to have kids. When you came to him with 3 positive pregnancy tests, teary eyes, and a growing fear, he had no other choice than to step up and comfort you. In those moments, he found himself telling you that he was scared too, but you two would do it together. The next few months had been hard. The 2024 season had been hard in general. Finding out you were pregnant halfway through was harder. As the months went on and he quit F1, he felt himself becoming increasingly nervous. He was scared. What if he would be just like his father? What if he didn’t know what to do? What would happen then? What if you left him because he couldn’t do it?
But you made all of those thoughts go away, promising him that he would be brilliant, that he was the most caring person you knew, and that the way you already loved your child was a testament to that. He’d given up his racing career to be there, he had to realise how big of a sacrifice that was, right? 
Now here he was, making his children waffles and pancakes on a Saturday morning while his wife lay in bed, getting some more rest. 
And he was happy. He was fulfilled. 
He smiled as the twins bickered over a measurement, and Layla was busy sitting on the counter explaining the newest drama of her friend group. 
When he was younger, he really questioned what he was meant to be. As much as he was an exceptional racer, he’d never felt truly satisfied, whereas he knew others who were satisfied after they won their first title. 
It all clicked the day Layla was born. He wasn’t meant to be a racer. He was meant to be a dad.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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lastoneout · 2 days ago
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This is actually part of why I think dignity of risk and informed consent absolutely needs to include what I like to call the right to give up.
I've spent the better part of my entire 20s trying as hard as I can to "get better" and you know what happened? I expanded my mobility a bit, I have slightly more energy, I feel calmer and happier because I enjoy what little exercise I can actually do. But I didn't "get better" in the way I needed to. I cannot go to school, I can't work, I have to choose between chores and errands most days, if I push myself too hard I crash sometimes for days at a time, and I'm never, NEVER lower than a 4 on the pain scale.
And like, I've met so many doctors who, when I explained that I needed more help with my condition because despite spending literally ALL OF MY FREE TIME on taking care of myself and working on "getting better" I legit cannot do anything fun or social or get a job or go to school due to my pain, fully acted like I have some sort of moral obligation to continue to focus all of my time and energy on "getting better" and so long as I'm doing that it doesn't actually matter that my life is nearly completely devoid of things that make it worth living. I would bring up mobility aids and they would balk, insisting it would make me "worse"(whatever the fuck that means at this point), and continue to push me to go to physical therapy 3 times a week and keep trying different meds and meditation and acupuncture and acupressure and mindfulness and just pushing myself harder and and a ton of other things that for various reasons don't work or would have too many downsides to be worth it to lower my pain. It didn't matter that I swore up and down I would keep going to PT and only use the wheelchair when I really needed it, the slight possibility of maybe having my mobility restricted just a bit more is enough for them to tell me I should not have a life outside of managing my illnesses.
What's even worse is that what's causing my pain, hEDS and fibromyalgia, are both life-long degenerative conditions that have no cure. I will never "get better". No amount of pain meds and PT is ever going to give me back the mobility I had before things got bad. But EVEN THEN, apparently managing my condition is all that matters, not getting to spend what time I have doing things that make me happy.
I did finally get approved for a wheelchair thanks to my new primary who used to work at an hEDS clinic and was fully sympathetic to me being allowed to live my fucking life, and after that I was talking to my mom who's been in a wheelchair since she was 13 and she said "You know, my range of motion and ability to walk did get a little worse after I got my chair, but what I could do in the chair was so much more than I could ever do without it, and that I think if you want to sacrifice a bit of mobility for being able to do things that make you happy, you should be trusted to make that choice." and she's fucking right!! I don't care if it's a little harder for me to walk around inside my house if I can finally go to school and hang out with my family and run errands and go on walks with my fiance!! Trying to "get better" is fucking exhausting and I truly, 100% believe that people who are disabled should be allowed to give up if we want, especially if it will make it easier for us to do things that are fun and fulfilling.
So yeah, tbh if "getting better" is too hard, if you're sacrificing all the things that make you happy for minuscule returns, if you're just fucking tired and want things to be a little easier, then you should have that option. I never should have had to wait this long for a wheelchair, doctor's should have fucking listened when I broke down sobbing in their offices about how I can't even go clothes shopping or get coffee with my mom and physical therapy isn't helping and I don't care about being healthy if it means I have to give up my entire life for the rest of my life for the slim chance of maybe getting like halfway there. I am a grown ass adult and I should be allowed to decide on my own when enough is fucking enough. (Also, it's kinda hard to want to get better when you like. Don't get to see your family or do fun things. Kinda inhumane to withhold basic human needs like community and entertainment until someone "tries to get better" like fuck off with that.)
We deserve informed consent, dignity of risk, and the right to fucking give up when we decide the cost of "getting better" is too high. Health =/= morality, there is no nobility in suffering, if you're tired of toiling you're not lazy or ungrateful, you're just tired. And you should be allowed to rest, even if it means getting worse or needing more help.
You know what? It’s fucking hard trying to get better. It’s exhausting managing doctors appointments, doing daily PT exercises, eating better, trying to exercise, trying to meditate, and doing ADL’s. I have had a bad crash per week trying to juggle and do all of the above.
It’s easier and less acutely painful to just coast and not actively work on ‘getting better’. Is the work worth it? I don’t know yet.
But to people who’ve tried and given up, to those who don’t even bother - you still deserve care and compassion.
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demonic0angel · 15 hours ago
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Since there was a character called Danny Todd, who was Jason's brother in DC…. How about big brother Daniel Todd (he's a Todd instead of a Fenton in this AU) and his younger brother, Jason?
(Sure?)
Danny sighed. He suddenly missed his sister. She would've known what to do if a child refused to eat and drink out of grief.
"C'mon, kiddo," Danny said, picking up Jason by his armpits. "You need to eat. Mom's not gonna be happy if you're starving."
"Mom's dead!" Jason snapped. "And dad ain't gonna help us!" He kicked and tried to wriggle out of Danny’s grasp, but he held fast.
Danny wished that Jazz was here. If she was here, she probably would’ve effectively stopped Jason’s tantrum, took care of him, found a way to get enough money to feed them all, and then comfort him. She was so frighteningly good at child rearing when he was young that it was sometimes hard to remember that she was only two years older than him.
Danny did not feel that old either.
Danny must’ve been silent too long because Jason eventually stopped trying to get away and he moved to press against him. “I-I’m sorry. Are you angry?” He sniffed and promptly broke Danny’s heart in two with his next words, “I’m sorry, please don’t leave.”
Danny went onto his knees and hugged him.
Being in this world with a little kid, orphaned all over again, alone and without any of his other siblings or friends made Danny’s heart ache. And in this world, he had a little brother to take care of.
“I’m not angry, little sheep,” he said soothingly, stroking his little brother’s curly hair, “I’m just…” fuck, how was he supposed to comfort a child again? “You should eat, Jay. Get your strength up.”
Jason sniffled wetly again, holding onto him tightly. Danny watched him for a moment, before he got the memo and stood up with Jason in his arms, bringing him over to the sink so that they could wash their hands before eating dinner.
As they carefully washed their hands together, trying to keep their usage of water to a minimum, Danny pursed his lips and reevaluated his future plans.
Joining a gang would be impossible. He couldn’t separate from Jason and it was just too dangerous.
He sighed as he set Jason’s reheated Banquet meal in front of him.
He would have to take a page out of Jazz’s book and tutor people for money, huh? He wasn’t confident in his skills, but as he looked at Jason’s little head bobbing up and down as he ate, he couldn’t help but reach over and ruffle the soft curls. Jason gave him a light glare, but continued eating.
Yeah. For his little brother and his new life, Danny would do whatever it took to make sure they would both be okay.
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queers-gambit · 3 days ago
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Regular Cream and Sugar
prompt: ( requested ) being cast as the opposite lead to your bane in the next hottest romcom blockbuster comes with unforeseen outcums.
pairing: actor!Bucky Barnes x female!actress!reader
fandom masterlist: Marvel
word count: 8.3k+
note: you know what? this is fire. i don't care for other opinions (a lie, i absolutely do).
warnings: poor references to different real shows / movies / media as pertains to acting for a living. imagination required. explicit language, angst, Lord's name in vain, hurt and comfort, dickhead behavior / depiction of verbal aggression, explicit content, NSFW, barely edited, enemies to lovers, happy ending, feelings are hard, depiction of mental health: anxiety, anxiety attacks.
featured fic movie: Anyone But You (2023) -> watch on Netflix featured fic show: Once Upon A Time (2011) -> watch on Disney+
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Lights from what felt like a thousand paparazzi cameras flashed in a blinding mirage, a hundred different voices all shouting your name - begging you look this way, that way, to give a smile; show the back of your dress, now the front; to smolder, pout, wink for them. You were mostly immune to the wave of attention, but it still jostled you, even scared you sometimes; posed as more of a looming threat than anything. Yet this was the life you chose, the media you 'invited' no matter how public you were or not online and in person.
Didn't make it any less easy.
You sighed and smiled prettily for the flashing cameras on the sentimental red carpet, feeling a hand glide around your waist; leaning into the affection despite the instant nausea the appendage caused.
"James," you greeted your costar stiffly.
"Oh, back to James, are we?" He chuckled, hand splayed warmly through the material of your designer dress. "C'mon, honey, I thought we were past all that hostility?" He pointed at a group of cameras, both perfectly peacocked for them; his hand lowering to his suit pants pocket.
You cooed sweetly, "Why would you think that?"
"Just thought we were getting along pretty well, is all."
You sighed and pulled away from him, but let your hand drop into his metal prothetic to guide him along the carpet; dodging people still milling around. The two of you took new poses on the carpet markers.
"Oh, please," you smiled brightly, "that's just good acting. Don't worry, you'll recognize it one day."
Bucky chuckled, "Ooooh, someone's a bit icy today. C'mon, toots, what's got your panties in a twist? You can tell me - "
"Can we just get through the next few hours without mentioning or thinking about my panties, you horndog?" You asked him through clenched teeth, still smiling as if sharing a few inside jokes.
Bucky laughed to himself, "After you, doll."
You sighed and took his offered arm, letting Bucky lead the way up to the designated area your managers were pointing you towards. Bucky charismatically greeted the interviewer, an obvious pompous show to mask the anxiety coursing through his veins. You saddled up to where your team was stationed before the platform, kissing your publicist, Regina, on the cheek in greeting while asking, "You seriously had to fucking match us?"
"It's a good PR look, babe, and blue's both your colors. Just keep smiling," she hushed, offering her hand to help you up the two-step platform. Bucky was instantly doing the same, reaching for his hand as you smiled at the camera set up - reminding yourself it was all for the pursuit of good PR.
"Wow, you two look stunning!" The interviewer squealed slightly, gesturing at the two of you standing with your manicured hand curled around Bucky's meaty bicep. "I love a good matching set, and you two look so gorgeous - very chic, very demure!"
"You think this look is demure?" Bucky teased, picking the lapel of his blazer. "You see these diamonds?"
"Swarovski is pretty loud, draws the eye in," you purred, keeping the conversation going, desperate to step away and watch the premier of the bloody film already so you could leave the event all together. Your diamond-ringed fingers pet your neck and collarbones, bringing to attention the expensive gemstones set in a fashionable web.
"Oh, they look stunning on you!" The woman from E! complimented. "So, obviously - we have the whole matching look down pat. Is this look an homage to the film? Your characters?"
"No, no, just what was thought we looked best in, you know?" Bucky smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist and by far enjoying the forced proximity. "But you've kinda got a whole, you know," he motioned at her all black look, "monochrome look goin' for yah - it's nice! I dig it!"
"Oh, wow, th-thank you," she flushed under his baby blues that your matching fits made pop with an unbearable glimmer. "It's vintage Chanel."
"Totally gorgeous," you complimented, starting to feel the first tendrils of discomfort. "Who're we wearing?" You asked Bucky, "Do you know?"
"I'm pretty sure we're both in Louis," Bucky glanced down at himself before opening his suit to check the label. "I know the shoes are."
You smiled at the interviewer as she continued, "So, I've gotta say, I'm crazy excited for this film, it's the hottest thing anyone can talk about!" You and Bucky offered generic murmurs of thanks, her continuing, "It's all over social medias, there's even some fan edits already out using what they could from the trailers! Fans are really digging the modern-Shakespeare take and the chemistry between the cast. I wanna ask, being the two leads playing into this romantic relationship, how has the whole experience been for the two of you? You haven't worked together, since, what? Some ten years ago or so? When the two of you costarred in Once Upon A Time, right?"
You cleared your throat, "Woah, what a throwback."
"I know," Bucky mused, looking down at you. "We played a couple on that one, too, right?"
You nodded, trying to beat off the brewing chaos in your stomach by answering, "Yeah, however short lived."
"Which, can I say, always confused me - why your character was killed off!" She directed at you. "I loved Alice!"
Clearing your throat awkwardly, you explained, "Oh, I know, I remember reading all these comments after that episode aired, just about how upset fans were. I mean, it was a really quirky take on Alice in Wonderland - so it was kinda jarring to kill off Alice, right? But it was a creative decision I was really excited to undertake, it was my first reoccurring role in a show, first time I got to play a parent, and it was my first big, dramatic death scene."
"Yeah?"
You nodded, "I remember talking with the writers and asking them if we could do it big. They were very okay with it. I honestly miss that show - the cast and crew, everyone was just a pleasure to work with. I'd love to do it again."
In truth, your character, Alice, the lost lover of Bucky's Mad Hatter, was written off the show after a particularly nasty argument with Bucky had you ready to quit and walk off set that very moment. This was a common enough theme: arguments on set between you and Buck, a stark opposite to your scenes together on camera. You're not even sure how it started, just that you and Bucky could never get along after the chemistry read. He was pompous and arrogant and borderline narcissistic; all characteristics that rubbed you the wrong way, hence the inability to get along. So, after brief deliberation and considering you were the one ready to move on, you were to be written off (first).
Of course, you couldn't admit to any of this - it was a horrible look to the public. Especially since it was Bucky you couldn't get along with for the sake of a job, who you now had to convince the world that you didn't despise for the sake of this movie.
"Well," Bucky looked back at the interviewer with a smile, "never say never, we had some good times - "
"On the set of the show or movie?" She asked eagerly. You felt like you could practically smell your companion's desire to change the subject. Neither of you were keen on talking about your time on the show together, not after all the conflict and turmoil that boiled over into today's circumstances.
"Oh, for sure both," Bucky nodded, "but we got to film this movie in LA first for about a month. Then we spent three months in Australia for this movie and it was - yeah, no, it was a lot of fun. The location definitely helped romanticize things. Lot of laughs shared, good memories, fond friendships; lot of really great food, Down Under, too."
You gave a fake chuckle, stomach lurching as your mind screamed that he was lying. Filming this movie wasn't really fun by any circumstance; not when you and Buck couldn't be in a room together without some comment being hurled with malicious intent. Bucky was lying - you knew it, the pretty girl in all black knew it; surely, fans on the internet would know it the moment they saw this interview - or at least, your face.
He was lying. He was lying. He was lying, and it fucking bothered you.
You weren't bothered by the act of lying, per se, but the fact that the pair of you had to lie; the fact that even after a decade, old wounds were still festering; the fact that you knew your feelings for him to be authentic while his were feigned, forced, being effortlessly lied about.
You glanced at Regina, seeing her talking with animation to Bucky's publicist, Gale, and his manager, Toby; as well as your own manager, Darcy, who appeared enraptured with their phone. In a moment, you felt the flood of panic, unable to meet Regina's usually kind eyes; suddenly scanning around the red carpet in distraction as your ears whined a piercing noise. The lights flashed brighter, you suddenly felt hot and clammy; like anxiety's icy hand was creeping up your esophagus, stomach to throat. Your heart hammered, headache brewed, eyes glassy from a sudden wave of panic - and unknowingly, tightened your grip on Bucky's waist. He glanced down at you in concern.
"Uh, but you know, I think my favorite part of the whole experience was just, uh, you know - getting to spend time with this girl right here," Bucky answered the interviewer's question charmingly, hugging you tighter to his side. You were jolted back into reality, smiling and awh'ing at him sweetly as if listening; evident he had purposefully roped you back in. Your heart clenched at his kindness.
"What about you, Y/N?" The interviewer asked with a bright smile. "Any favorite moments from filming?"
"Oh, um, favorite? No, there's too many - well," you paused, relenting, "yeah, probably any scene I got to do with Jeremy, who plays my ex in the film. He's not entirely who you'd think fits in a romcom, so he pleasantly surprises you in this role. He was a blast to film with, just real easy going."
"Woah, hey," Bucky joked, looking offended but still petting his fleshy hand on your waist for comfort, "how could I not be your favorite part of filming?"
"Jeremy actually learned my coffee order," you reminded with a soft wince, watching Buck pause and then nod dramatically.
"No, no, she's got me there - I could never get it right," Bucky shrugged at the interviewer. "One day, though, I'll surprise her," he squeezed where he held you, his metal finger pointing into the camera, "and that's a promise."
"Oh, please," you chuckled, patting his chest. "I'd like to first see you get my breakfast order right - then we can move onto the more complicated coffee order."
"Okay, first, that's slanderous!" Bucky laughed, shifting his weight on the platform and making the woman interviewer perk up.
"Well, it seems the two of you had a great time on set, and so far from previews, it really shows! I can't wait to see it."
"Have fun tonight," you smiled, Bucky shifting towards the steps and offering both his hands to guide you down. He thanked her repeatedly as you stepped carefully in your heels, approaching Regina and Darcy the moment you were on the carpet again. "I can't - I can't fucking do this," you muttered to them inconspicuously; unaware of Bucky several yards away, listening to his team talk, but his gaze was locked worriedly on you.
"What? What? Can't do what?" Darcy asked, looking mildly alarmed; only then lowering their dinging iPhone.
"It's a lot right now, okay? I'm - I feel - there's just a lot," you tried to explain, voice warbling.
"What? You're, what, feeling anxious? Use your words."
"Yes, Darcy, fucking yes, I feel fucking anxious," you snapped, sighing through your nose; hand tight on Regina's wrist. She readjusted so you were both gripping each other's forearms. "Okay? There's a lot of fucking people and the interviews? Jesus, we're lying straight through our teeth - "
"So, just lie!"
"Darcy," Regina scolded, "let her speak."
"You two know James and I don't exactly get along. So you'll excuse me if lying about how much fun we had playing two idiots in love is giving me the fucking heebie-jeebies."
"Babe," Regina frowned when tears gathered in your eyes, fully aware of your feelings for the amputee, "just breathe, it's okay - "
"You literally lie for your job," Darcy scoffed with a shake of their head. "I don't get why now, all of a sudden, it's bothering you? You and Hugh Grant literally didn't speak a single word to each other outside of scenes when filming for Bridget Jones! Y'all went on to say you were best buds on set! But this is where the truth is gonna trip you up?"
"Oh, my fucking God."
"Yeah, 'oh, my fucking God', is right," Darcy sneered. "I need you to do at least three more interviews - then you can fuck off for all I care."
"There a reason you took extra bitchy pills this morning?" Regina scoffed, looking Darcy up and down with distain.
"No, fuck that, she's been difficult this entire film - "
"Oh, for the love of Christ, Darcy," Regina snarled, "she's not been difficult - she's human. Just because you're an emotionless cunt doesn't mean you get to shame and bully your client."
"Doubt I'm even their client after this," your head shook, finally locating a distant entrance. "Excuse me," you stepped around them and made an immediate beeline for the theater.
You heard shouts of your name, but didn't stop - instead, quickening your step to reach the theater sooner. The door was held open for you, letting you pass swiftly; ignoring the bewildered looks of employees and premier attendants as you hustled down the hall to the gender neutral restroom.
Shoving the door open, you gasped while stumbling onto the linoleum floors in towering heels and swirls of blue fabric feeling tangled around your legs. Your hands blindly and forcefully slapped to the marble countertop of the sink, holding your weight in either hand, pressure caught in your collarbones, trying to regulate your breath from the irregular pattern it developed during your hustle.
"Oh, this is - this is so stupid!" You scolded yourself, huffing and sniffling. "C'mon, girl... You're fine, this is nothing, you can handle it, you're not no bitch. Get your shit together, God, you're seriously this upset over a guy? Fuck's sake... Why?" You asked yourself in the mirror with a glare. "Huh? Why? Why're you so upset? Why're you so hung up on him? It's not like he-he-he lead you on! He's been clear from the beginning! And the sex wasn't even all that good!" But the deadpanned expression that stared back at you made you sigh and roll your eyes, "Yeah, okay, so it was mind blowing, whatever - point is, it's not worth getting this upset over."
You had to pause to take a breath, shaking your head as you continued talking to yourself in a dejected whisper, "Okay, so... You caught feelings. Big deal. You've been rejected by guys before, why is this one so different? Why does this hurt so much more?" The quake to your voice matched the tremble of your bottom lip. So, you answered yourself as a barrage of memories shot to the front of your mind and physically assaulted your brain like a bunch of bullies in an alleyway, "Because it felt real..."
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You were the first on set.
Today's punctuality wasn't just good ethics but a direct result of your anxiety. You weren't worried about being late, you wanted to get there early to suss out the set, get a lay of the land, establish exit routes - or any means of privacy - should you need it, as well as privately meet with the intimacy coordinator, Maria, before anyone else got to set.
The director was next to arrive as you finished hair and make-up, wrapped in a robe with a pair of slippers warming your feet; sat beside you to go over a few ideas and logistics of the scene. It was all about being this bright, active, explosive, fiery, hot, passionate, borderline hateful cultivation of your character and Bucky's feud; where after a fight scene, you storm off to your room and he follows, the pair of you giving into your feelings and finally sleeping together.
The camera crew and lighting techs showed up next, ensuring everything was in place and ready to use.
The entire production had been rearranged due to the animosity, tension, and turmoil between you and Bucky the entire filming schedule. After months of bickering and irritation, this was the last piece of the movie puzzle, only reshoots thereafter, if necessary. Which made today all or nothing, where if you did this right, you'd only have to do it once. The resort you were shooting at provided a gigantic, gorgeously picturesque suite; which, in itself, was a blessing as it meant limited personnel in the room with you. So, after getting ready in a neighboring suite, where you were zipped into the same dress your character wore to a dramatic dinner scene, and waiting on the set-suite for Bucky to finish his primping. The techs showed you where the mics were and how the cameras would be angled.
Typically, shooting could be pretty go-go-go, but tonight was supposed to be easy, unrushed. First, you filmed the original fight scene to warm up - where Bucky chases after you and instigates the intimate scene. However, when the sun was lowering into position to sink, the director decided he wanted a couple of shots with the setting sun behind you; his artistic vision something you were meant to follow and not question.
"You good, doll?" Bucky checked as costumes were fixed and you both took your places. The idea was to meet in the middle of the sun shining into the camera; silhouettes taking form as the light was meant to disappear behind you, then reappear when you and Bucky fell into bed behind you.
"Yeah, uh, all good. You?"
"Perfect," he smirked, glancing at the crew. "We're moving at the same time, right?"
"Yep."
"Oh, so, uh, I'm thinking when we go back to the intro scene, we kinda lead into the bedroom? You know? Like, you come in, I follow, but you try to walk away and it leads us naturally towards the bed. That way, when we get to fuckin', it's a little more natural than before."
You just huffed, "You just have a way with words, don't you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you someone that prefers 'making love'?" He mocked with fluttering lashes.
"Fuck no, God, fucking gag me - that's such a cringy term," you scoffed quietly, looking towards the camera crew making their final readjustments.
Bucky eyed you for a moment, thinking those were his exact thoughts and feelings on the term, too. He sighed to himself as the director reminded, "This is just the kiss, then falling into bed - okay? - then we'll reset for the other bits. Yeah? Good? Everyone got it?"
"Good," Bucky agreed easily, you just nodding.
The director squinted to watch on his monitor as the sun hovered, calling action, and watching the two of you meet in frame from either side of the camera. You reached for each other and let your lips meet in an chaotic, highly-anticipated open-mouth kiss; his prosthetic arm curling around your waist as his fleshy one came up in view of the camera to slide from your jaw to the back of your head. Your hands fisted the front of his shirt in a show of desperation; one creeping up to hold his neck for balance as you felt his weight shift. You held on and gave a soft moan while toppling backwards onto the bed, out of frame; but held the position as Camera Two worked the angle from above. "And cut!"
When he pulled back, Bucky's eyes were alight with something you couldn't decipher; breathing the same air for several moments before he was sitting up and helping you do the same. You reset with dampening tear-away panties, tingling lips, and heavy lungs.
You did that kiss twice more to make the most of the sun's position before it was gone; using the authentic change of colors to curate a more romantic aesthetic. You and Bucky agreed the colors of the sunset was a much better look... So, you did the kiss another three times. When satisfied, the techs rest to film the whole of the scene, sending your heart catapulting from chest to throat. Bucky appeared easy, even excited, which for some unspoken reason, really irritated you.
How dare he enjoy this when he was usually an unbearable jackass that made your life more difficult for sport.
First, you were to storm into your room alone, a look of furious defeat marring your expression. Bucky's catches your door, follows you in to defend himself, "Hey! You don't get to insult my character and just walk away! What the hell's going on with you, why're you so upset? We had a deal, we agreed to act like we're together for the sake of this wedding. Now, you've been at my throat this whole time, you refuse to have a civil conversation unless in front of others - it's almost like you're repulsed by my very being here. I'm sorry if that's what's going on, but my best mate is marrying the love of his life this weekend and I'm going to stand at his side! You're going to have to find a way to be okay with that."
He stood in the foyer of your suite as you whipped around to snarl, "I'm okay with you being my brother-in-law's best man, I really am. I'm okay with us being at this wedding, I can fake getting along, being a couple, whatever, that's no problem. But I'm not the one who's been outright malicious! I'm not the one throwing thinly-veiled insults in front of your family!" You let tears fill your eyes, Bucky appearing genuinely disarmed as he took a step forward. Your character was notorious for being something akin to a shrew; but now, in this moment, proving to still be 'just a girl', who had feelings and would cry if she wanted to. "You know what? I wouldn't expect you to understand - so just - just get out of here, go back to dinner, there's nothing left to say - "
"You really piss me off, you know that?"
"Oh, my God! Did you seriously follow me back to my room to continue a fight I already walked away from?" You snarled, tossing your shoes from your feet. "Take a hint and go away. Please. You've done enough for the night."
"You know, you always do this. When shit gets real, you'd rather run away than deal with it!" He followed you closer to the living quarters of the suite, as planned.
"You don't get to say that when you don't even know me!"
"That's where you're wrong! I do know you!" Bucky barked, reaching for your arm to turn you around to face him; releasing his hold when you yanked your arm back with a brewing look of betrayal. "I know you're stubborn and insolent, defensive and reactive. I know you don't give second chances because one is enough, I know you're passionate and criminally independent, that you don't take direction too well because you have issue with authority." His voice softened an octave and the words felt all too real; like it was truly Bucky speaking, "I know you love your family and would do anything to protective them, including agreeing to be my date to this wedding just to give your sister peace of mind for her big day. I know that even when I think I've found a way to cope with admiring the hell out of a woman who despises me, I fuck up and say something I shouldn't. Which I also know, can rightfully set you off. I also know I had one of the best times on our date, before things imploded, and that I've finally met my match - if even just for this week."
"Think that means you know everything about me, then?" You breathed, locked onto his baby blues like a bear trap had hold of your soul.
"I only know one thing for certain."
"What?"
"That I really want to kiss you right now."
There was supposed to be no hesitation in your surge into his chest - so, there wasn't. Knowing you had this shot already and much was to be edited, you and Bucky rushed for one another; clashing in the middle; all teeth, tongue, and spit before toppling into bed. From there, it was a frenzy.
Clothes were ripped off - sending buttons and fabric all around the room. Mics picked up every single sound, no matter how soft or gruff. Soft linen sheets were rumpled and mused, pillows flattened. Hands slapped skin in the search for purchase, lips grazed sensitive flesh not regularly touched, hair stuck to tacky skin, and hips ground into one another like a couple of horny teens. Maria called encouragement, the two of you taking the cues to roll over so you were on top, but still in Bucky's cradle. Every position assumed, Bucky was all consuming; warm, safe, embracing, supportive, glorious.
It went on for several hours; the rutting and kissing and moaning and feigning. It was exactly what they wanted: bright, active, explosive, fiery, hot, passionate. Bucky's body was impressive and it was hard to ignore, causing your skin to flush with ecstasy, mouth to water, and fingers to linger. Your moans turned authentic. Sweat beaded from legit exertion. Everything felt magnified and doubled; legs spread to hold his bare hips against yours, breathing harsher when all you could focus on was the feel of Bucky's bulging cock rubbing into your soaking slit. You swore his own stuttered breathing and moans were as real as yours - but who could tell.
When the director called cut, Maria told you to stay put. You kept the sheet around your chest and dropped back to the pillows, Bucky sitting forward with the sheet around his lap in an attempt to give you both a little room.
"You all right?" He mumbled, shuffling over a little before leaning back himself. You tried not to notice how he didn't deflate, never relaxed; as if cautious to invade your space all of a sudden.
"Yeah, still good. You?"
"I'm good, doll," he smirked. "Kinda warm, no?"
"I'll say," you mumbled, swiping the moisture from your hairline, missing his grin - as if he had caught you in a confession. And perhaps he did, since the air conditioning was on and blasting like in most hotel suites; the pair of you heated from the obvious horniness you were flushed with.
The director wanted a few extra shots of you two in bed; naked, revealing tantalizing skin in provocative poses. You were to look soft, content, in love, docile and blissed; so, you gave it to them Goddamnit. You loathed to admit how easy it was to look at Bucky in such a manner; he was funny, making you grin and crack a few jokes in return, the camera eating it up. You spoke of past jobs and vacations while lounging against one another; discussed fears during a game of Thumb War; compared hand sizes and workout routines; then had more lighthearted familial conversations, such as holiday traditions, while you were balanced bare on top of his equally naked body.
From each position, you were encouraged to nuzzle the other; to kiss; share delicate touches that some how felt more intimate than filming any sex scene.
The director wanted two new camera angles of your intimacy after watching the playback; you and Bucky shuffling into new positions as the cameras were mounted. This provided ample view of your faces whilst rolling around in your romp; looking into one another's eyes as Bucky mimicked thrusting, your hands in his hair, of the concentrated expressions you were both to don. There were better shots of your tangled hands, of the way two individuals melded into one secular entity; of slippery lips forming varying levels and pitches of gasps, moans, and groans that the mics soaked up.
It all looked so real. It all felt so real.
For a moment, the director praised himself on his decision to hold off filming these intimate scenes until the end; watching an authentic cultivation of your real and faked hatred coming together on camera.
It was over with several hours to spare until dawn when few reshoots would begin filming, thankfully being mostly family scenes that didn't involve you and Bucky. If there were any, it was truly because it was necessary - the crew having been overly cautious about getting the scenes they needed the first time to spare everyone the annoyance of enduring another day on set with you and Bucky. The director and Maria watched the footage several times to make sure they had enough footage, granting approval that everything was in good shape and you were free to go.
While Bucky hesitated a moment, you accepted your robe from Maria and scurried to the neighboring suite you had dressed in. You were overwhelmed, confused, annoyed, and horny - so very horny that your immediate first action was to unlace your robe to use the lapels to fan yourself. You sought out the bathroom and grabbed several towels, yelping in shock when the front door slammed shut. Yanking the fluffy material closed, you called, "What is it, Maria? What do you need? What's wrong?"
"It's me," Bucky's voice answered, making your head pop out of the bathroom - only to rear back when Bucky was striding inward.
"Do they need us for something else?" You asked cautiously, holding your robe closed with tight hands.
"No. No, I just... Tell me to leave and I'll leave," he breathed, taking a slow step into your space, "but I really hope you don't because I can't stop thinking about you and tonight - tonight was exactly what I had thought would happen between us."
"Gave the writers your dream journal, did'jah?" You couldn't help but tease. His lips spread.
"More like my actual journal," he shot back, catching you off guard, "'cause I can't get you out of my head, it's fucking with me, doll."
"If you're here to charge me rent for living in your head, you've got another thing comin' 'cause that's a personal problem. Now I need a shower, why're you here, Bucky - what do you want? Use your big boy words."
"I want to fuck you."
"There it is," you seethed, reaching for his own robe to yank him closer until his lips were on yours. And his hands, they didn't know where to touch you - be it your face, arms, ribs, waist, hips, thighs, ass, he was everywhere. Bucky's cock was still hot and heavy against his stomach, snugly between you as he backed you into the counter. But you pushed him back upon feeling him trying to untie his robe, rushing, "Wait, wait, hang on a second, Buck - "
"Shit, I'm sorry," he immediately stepped back, now tugging the tie tighter, "I-I got a little, uh, y-you know..."
"It's okay," you assured, stepping into his chest, taking hold of his wrists in both hands, "hey, you're okay. I was just gonna say wait because I'm not fucking you here where anyone can interrupt us." Before he could answer, you offered, "Give me twenty minutes and meet back at my place?"
He nodded with a softer smirk, hands confidently holding your waist to keep you pressed against him. "Yeah, doll, 'course. I didn't mean to rush you."
"You didn't, Bucky, you aren't. It's okay."
Bucky smirked and kissed you sweetly, holding you by the waist with one hand, the smoothing over the back of your head. After letting you go, he watched you change into whatever you wore to set and grab your belongings, drop a wink, and head for the door. He couldn't help but call after you, "Twenty minutes, doll, I'm setting a timer!"
You laughed before the door shut.
One of the perks of filming at destination resorts was staying there, too. You took the first elevator to the lobby and dialed your best friend as you hustled towards your resident building. When they answered, you instantly unloaded instead of a standard greeting, "Bucky and I are about to fuck and I'm kinda freaking out!"
"Oh, thank fucking God, it's about time!"
"You can gloat later, help me now."
Twenty exact minutes passed in a flurry of reminders to use mouthwash now so it didn't taste like you were trying too hard, advice on what to wear (being just panties and a hotel robe), topped off with your best mate telling you their secrets to irresistible blowjobs. When Bucky knocked at the door, your friend screamed in a rush, "Good luck - have fun - put that emergency Plan B I packed for you to work - oh, oh, protect your cervix - and call me after - I want details! Remember to spit - "
You hung up and left your phone on the side table, scurrying for the door before you could overthink it; Bucky swooping in with the opening door, reaching his hands for both your cheeks to kiss you feverishly. He paused you to let the door slam and blindly set the bolt before crowding you into the wall. You never had time to let your anxiety set, Bucky was all you could comprehend - and my, oh, my - what a delicious infection to take over your mind, body, and soul.
Distracted by the tickle to your palms from dragging them down his cheeks, in shock, you gasped sharply into his mouth when his hands seized behind either thigh to hoist you up his body. You were able to bask in his strength, feeling his arms bulge from strain just as much as you felt his cock bulge from arousal in his jeans. Wet tongues slid against each other to dance a sinful tango as your hands seared into any flushed flesh you could grab, legs locked around his waist to keep balance as he walked to the bed. He playfully dropped you on the mattress, holding himself upright and eyeing the peak of material covering your cunt when your bent legs shifted. Bucky grinned and glanced down at himself, starting to work on the buttons of his shirt from top-to-bottom.
"You changed?" You smiled, sitting up to reach out and maneuver him to the bed so you could take over his state of undress.
"I thought I might take you out first," he admitted, "but then I remembered it's the middle of the night and nowhere's open."
Your heart might've thawed slightly at his endearing effort, yet choose not to comment. You revealed his abs and chest at long last, dipping down to press your mouth in a trail of wet and sloppy kisses from his neck, over his pectorals, and the ridges of his ripped stomach - relishing in the feeling of their contraction when your kisses turned more deliberate and sensual. Fingers nimbly began working on the button and zipper of his jeans, hearing his feet kick off his shoes in time for you to begin wrestling the garments down his hips.
Bucky sat up, crooning, "Hey, hey, hold on." This time, you froze, fearing you did something wrong, but his smile was soft and his hand warm on your jaw. He held you still to bring his lips to yours, controlling the tempo into something slow, easy, and delicately emotional. You matched his energy, just enjoying the feeling of kissing him without the added frenzy of the impending intimacy. He paused, lips hovering over yours, whispering, "As much as I need to fuck you, doll, we got time... I plan on taking my time with you."
It was sentimental. Raw. Pure. Unexpected and intimidating.
Fucking Bucky was nothing short of pornographic; the man built like a mountain, cut like a boulder, and hung like a horse, yet still so fluid that everything he did felt intimate and emotional. Like it was truly to the two of you finding home in the other; two lost pieces of a puzzle, reunited, fitting together to create an image of euphoria. He was dedicated to your comfort, insistent on your pleasure, adamant about your orgasms; able to take direction, but not needing it, motivated by evidence of your bodily pleasure; emboldened, driven, invigorated by any inkling of your enjoyment. It was all you wanted and exactly what you needed, encouraging the pair of you through multiple rounds, positions, and orgasms.
To your shock and astute pleasure, Bucky was the kind to engage in pillow talk. He laid on his back, hand behind his head, other idly toying with your hair or tracing patterns on your skin as he asked questions or answered yours. It was easy. It was simple. It was effortless and disarming. Arguably, it had been one of the best sessions of your life due to Bucky taking his time in discovering the way your body ticked instead of just chasing his own nut like plenty of other lovers. He seemed satisfied. Content. Even cozy in your bed. You thought you could grow accustomed the sight of his bare chest and stubbly smile from this angle, curled against his hairy leg with your mouth dangerously close access to his perpetually stiff member.
Like a fool, you thought this was a break through in your relationship - be it professional or personal, you didn't care. You just felt the tides shift, for the wind to change; something warming your heart and pleasantly churning your stomach. Dawn broke and you had dozed into a nap on your costar's chest; not due on set for your shoots until early afternoon, able to get a couple hours under your belt after not getting a wink all night. Bucky laid under you, soothingly letting his fingernails scratch into the slope of your spine, both content to just exist in your bubble for a while longer. However, when you awoke to your alarm, it was to an empty bed, chilly sheets, no note, no evidence another person had even been there.
You should've known better...
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"Because it felt real," you trailed off in a broken whisper, laughing cruelly at yourself as a manicured finger lifted to swipe under your nose and remove the first traces of snot. "Because I thought it was real for him as it was me..." A scoff coughed from your lungs, "I thought we had a breakthrough of sorts, like-like-like an understanding. I thought he saw me, finally... But it was all a lie, wasn't it?" You sniffled, bending at the waist to rest your elbows on the counter and hold your face in hands.
Behind you, the door suddenly burst open, ricocheting into the wall - causing you to gasp shrilly and whip around in shock. Bucky stood there panting, looking bewildered and confused, soon wincing when he clocked your state of shock he caused. "Shit, sorry, sorry, doll, I was - I didn't mean - I-I-I was worried and thought something was wrong - "
"So, you came barging into the bathroom like a madman!?" You snapped, hand to your chest - clutching methaporicnhal pearls.
"Yeah, you know, not my best moment, but I was worried," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I really didn't mean to frighten you, I was a little hopped up after talking to Regina - "
"Okay, okay, James! You know what? Just - for fuck's sake, please, please, can you just leave, leave me alone - can you please just go!? Get outta here, please. I'll be out in a minute, just leave me alone." You were trying too hard to stop this - to stop the way your heart fluttered and stomach sank, to stop your emotions from being real, to stop your mind from conjuring his all too perfect face at inopportune times - so, of course, the universe had to send the very bane of your existence after you during an anxiety attack.
You needed to be alone. You needed to be alone to cry it out. You needed to be alone to cry it out and breathe.
"No," Bucky answered sternly.
"'No'?"
"No. You're obviously not okay and I can't just leave knowing you're this upset. Look, hate me later, but I'm not leaving you alone right now."
Your head shook, a sardonic smile blooming brightly; giving a sort of disbelieving chuckle. "Seriously? Of all people? You? Fucking you? You don't even like me, so why're you really here, James? The fuck do you want?"
"All right, down girl, I come in peace," he couldn't help but snap; defensive that his act of valor was under such scrutiny.
"Yeah? If that's the truth, then remove yourself, please. You don't need to be here, interrupting my search for said peace."
"Why is it so hard to believe I'm here out of legitimate concern?"
"Because you don't think about anyone but yourself."
"Okay, ouch - "
"Just stop, please okay? I'm not tryna fight, James, I don't want to do this, all right?" You cried without letting any tears fall down your cheeks, beyond frazzled in that moment. "I don't want to do any of this, actually - this whole bloody premier, the interviews, all the pictures! People lying, people yelling!"
"Okay, okay, just take a breath, sweetheart, hey, hey." He took a cautious step towards you, "Why's tonight making you feel this way? Huh? What's going on? You've done premiers before, what's different about tonight?" He asked softly, seeing the tears surface again, how your hands couldn't stay still anymore. You began to pace in front of the sink; cracking, threading, unthreading, twiddling, and twirling your fingers.
"You! It's fucking you, James!"
"Bucky," he corrected stiffly with a sigh of disappointment, keeping himself still to watch you pace with words caught in your throat. He didn't push you, somewhat afraid of getting his head bitten off again.
"It's just you," you continued as if he hadn't spoke. "I honestly don't know what I did to make you hate me to this extent, but I can't stand it - especially after everything! I mean, I know, I get it, sleeping together shouldn't have meant anything - but I guess you're just a better actor than I am! There, okay? I said it, you're so much better than me because I-I can't just pretend and lie about what happened between us - not us, not this time! And I hate that it's fucking with me this bad, but it's everything right now, okay? It's the matching outfits and the touching - so much fucking touching, James, for fuck's sake! I know we're supposed to be posing for photos and playing this role of two people who actually like one another, but holy fuck, it's so much touching - so many photos, so many questions, so much recollection, all these memories, and so much lying - I fucking hate that we're lying about us - "
"Hey, hey, hey," Bucky soothed, suddenly materializing in front of you and holding both your arms, but let go when you reared back, "woah, hey, listen - listen to me, I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite, doll, but you need to take a breath, please, try to-to-to calm down, and I know you're not supposed to tell women that, but I don't know what else to say right now. Just - Just pause for me, doll. Listen, it's not lying for me, all right? It's not lying, it's me using wishful thinking as a coping mechanism 'cause it bothers me, too."
"W-What?" You put some distance between you again by stepping back into the furthest corner of where marble counter met wall. Exhaustion pitted your bones, hollowing them; adrenaline flooding your system after your anxiety made you feel defenseless. Tears fell without thought or realization. You needed to breathe.
Bucky's eyes were soft, his brows crinkled in concern, lips gently twitching before speaking, "I just, I realized how fucking rude I've been to you - I mean, it shouldn't matter that you never called, I could've! You know? Phone's work both ways, so, I just started thinking how much of a dick I've been - "
"What're you talking about?" You asked, tears slowing but still dribbling. "J-James, what're you talking about, I didn't call? Why would I have called you? You left me! You left. That was a pretty clear message to send."
His brows now hooked towards his nose in confusion, "What do you mean, I left?"
"After we slept together."
"Oh, baby, you think I skipped out on you?" He watched you nod meekly, breathing out, "Nah, nah, nah, I went to get us breakfast and coffee..." He purred, taking a slow step towards you, "But when I got back, you were already gone, on set. I thought you'd leave a note, but you didn't, so I didn't really think to linger in your hotel suite. I thought maybe you'd call or text me when you got back, but when you didn't, I figured you were busy and waited, then that you regretted us being together."
"Wait... Wait, wait, wait, what? Hold on, y-you went to get us...? Hold on, what? I'm still playing catch up."
Bucky stood in front of you, gently pulling you from the corner just to lean in the middle of the marble with his hands warm on your waist and ribs.
"Yeah," Bucky grins, "I went to get us breakfast. Toasted plain bagel with eggs - scrambled, of course - uh, extra cheese, and you prefer bacon to pork sausage, but only if it's extra crispy and if they don't offer turkey sausage. You like either maple syrup or Sriracha," Bucky's hands flexed to a sudden bruising grip, hoisting you onto the counter, "depending on your mood." You were stunned into silence, heart pounding; allowing him to hike your dress skirt over your thighs, then spread them only so he could stand between them, "And of course, you like both hot and iced mocha lattes equally with regular cream and sugar. Because you don't trust all baristas to get your portions right, you like keeping additional cream and sugar on hand in case it's not enough - which is why you think your coffee is complicated, because you go based on taste instead of color or measurement."
Your smile was genuine, curling your hand under his jaw to caress tantalizing stubble; holding around his neck and shoulders to remain close. You hushed, "I know that shouldn't impress me, but it does..."
"As long as you stop crying, baby, c'mon," he whined gently, "I can't stand the sight."
You nodded and sniffled, looking down as your foreheads met; gently fiddling with his diamond-crusted lapels. "For the record?" You whispered, noses nuzzling, "I don't regret it..."
"Good," he matched your tone, "'cause I don't either. But I do regret how I've treated you... I'm really sorry, doll. Maybe if I wasn't such a dickhead, we could've had these last 6 months together, huh?"
"Probably not, weren't you on location?" You snickered, caressing his cheek and keeping his forehead on yours as your tears dried and reality came back into hand.
"Oh, like you weren't?" He smirked. "Hey, I gotta question for you."
"Hm?"
"Can I take you to dinner? Please? You know, do this properly? We kinda skipped some steps."
You pulled back to look at him, laughing, "Could I clean the mascara off my face before you ask me out?"
"What mascara?"
"Oh, please - "
"Nah, seriously, baby, you look perfect, I promise, whatever Jessie used 's gotta be waterproof," he grinned, hand reaching up to hold your cheek sweetly, thumb sweeping away tear tracks.
"How do you know my make-up artist?"
"I might follow them on Instagram," he shrugged casually, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Now, I know this great pizza place, right?"
"Uh-huh...?"
"And I think you'll love it. C'mon, baby, lemme take you there."
"Where is it?"
"Not... That... Far..."
"What does that mean? Bucky, what're you plotting?"
"So, the pizza place, right? I found it when we were filming with Ridley - "
"Bucky."
"So, it's technically in Rome - but - "
"Oh, my God, who are you? Pete Becker? Are you binging FRIENDS, again? Hell no - "
"Hear me out!"
"We're not going to Italy!"
"Hang on, just listen to me, baby, okay?" He purred, gripping your hips in a bruising grip to drag you to the edge, "Let's get this premier done, right? And after, you and me go to the airport - I'll have my people get us tickets, Regina can grab your passport, you know? And let's just get away for a little bit - you even said you've never been to the Amalfi Coast."
You laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, okay, sure."
"You think I'm joking?"
"A little bit."
Bucky leaned forward and kissed you to suppress his own grin; lapping his tongue against yours before pulling back. "Just say yes, doll, c'mon, lemme make up for being a dickhead, huh?" He pleaded quietly.
You hummed, kissing him again, answering against his lips, "Yes, to all of it."
"Yes?"
"Yes - " You squealed in laughter when Bucky surged forward to kiss you again, this time, out of sheer relief, pure joy, and unrestricted excitement.
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requesting rules and masterlist
Marvel masterlist
197 notes · View notes
obxsummer · 17 hours ago
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bruises // ghost of you
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pairing: jj maybank x routledge!reader
summary: the pogues go searching for jj while sarah volunteers for babysitter duty, lots of therapy conversations happen, and john b's crash out starts right now
warnings: lowkey a filler chap, lots of sappy conversations, minor john b crashout
navigation -- series masterlist
ask me anything 
--
John B had his work cut out for him. Not only was JJ not here to be an extra set of eyes on you, considering you were practically dead in his arms hours ago, but Sarah was pregnant, and he was not happy about either of you tagging along on this adventure. Stakes were higher than ever and now that they knew Groff was unhinged beyond their initial thoughts, everything was risky.
The only thing he had going, was Sarah practically refused to move from your side. After a bit of persuasion and a promise that they would come back tonight, she agreed on hanging back with you as the rest of the group went in search of JJ. 
You weren’t happy at the idea of being left out, but you were exhausted and John B was quick to clock your slight incohesion. Pope confirmed it was common after the lack of oxygen to the brain and you just needed to take things slow, so you agreed. If the group was going to Morocco, you needed to be at your best.
John B was hesitant to leave you both, considering everything that happened the last time he’d left you here. All of the Pogues were hesitant to get on the boat, actually. The past few hours were really scary, but JJ was missing and no Pogue was ever left behind, so they had to go.
Pope was up on the lookout deck, his eyes scanning the sunset covered water for any sign of movement. Cleo was next to John B as he drove steadily, too scared to go any faster in case he missed something. The dark-haired girl was looking closely through a pair of binoculars, but it was difficult with the sun reflecting off the water. That left  Kie to huddle around your phone screen where JJ’s location had stopped responding, the 2 hours ago next to his name haunting them. There was nothing in sight, but his location had to be in this general area. 
The unexpected part, was how quiet John B had been. He’d been unusually silent when making a game plan and shoving everything into backpacks. It was obvious there was a lolt going through his mind. He’d come way too close to loosing each and every one in the group, but to have both you and Sarah lifeless in front of him was too much, way too much to handle, and he was having a tough time wrapping his head around it.
“He’s gotta be somewhere around here!” Kiara called back to John B as she glanced at your phone. There wasn’t much to say, all of their thoughts focused on getting JJ and getting the group back together.
And then John B heard it, faintly, but it was enough to make him perk up with more hope than before.
“I see him!” Pope shouted from above, his finger pointing out in the general direction ahead of the boat. “He’s over there! Keep it steady, John B.”
Your friends moved instantly, Cleo leaving your brother to help where she could as Pope climbed down from above. Kiara yelled JJ’s name, and John B could barely make out his figure in the water as the boat floated closer. Pope and Cleo moved with clean motions to haul him up on the back of the deck. 
“What the hell happened?” John B asked as he crouched in front of him, eyes instantly going to the red color taking over the lower portion of his abdomen where his hand was barely hovering. Cleo’s hand fell against it wordlessly, applying enough pressure that he groaned in pain.
“Groff,” JJ grunted when she pushed down further and Pope winced at the sound. He knew the bloodflow would slow with more pressure, but he really wasn’t a fan of any of you being in pain. The important part was JJ was alive.
Cleo eventually managed to slow the bleeding enough that JJ could sit up slightly, being careful not to shift too fast in risk of reopening the skin. Kiara watched him carefully, knowing shit was about to hit the fan in the few seconds it took for JJ to realize you weren’t there.
“You okay?” John B asked as Pope took over steering the boat back home.
JJ let out a deep breath, finally taking in what was in front of him now that he could focus. “‘M fine. Where are the girls?” He looked to John B for an answer, considering both you and Sarah were his to watch.
The slightest tug on his best friend’s lips was enough of an answer before JJ demanded to be home, now.
--
You and Sarah had been pretty quiet all evening. Not that you could say much to begin with, but whatever show she had turned on was at least keeping you from a spiraling mind. Pope had sent a text that they found him, the news slightly delayed by the lack of service in the open water, but it was enough relief to the two of you that you couldn’t sit still. 
“Here,” Sarah handed you a cough drop in hopes of soothing your throat. You nodded in appreciation, popping the hard piece in your mouth and resuming your stare out at the water. 
Sarah plopped on the hammock next to you and tucked her feet up. The TV was still playing in the background but it no longer held her interest. She was doing her best to keep you occupied, but if she was being honest, it helped her too. There hadn’t been much time to really process the fact that she would soon be responsible for someone other than herself. Sure, there was still a lot of time to go, but the whole idea of growing a human in her own body was crazy.
“You feel any better?” She asked softly. Pope had given her a list of things to look out for, so she checked in often but didn’t want to annoy you.
You nodded, and really meant it. Your chest was still sore but slowly improving with the medicine in your body. Your headache had thankfully disappeared and you were still able to recount everything that happened. It was the mental effects of it all that you knew would take time. It wasn’t healthy, the way your group went through these life altering moments and brushed them off like it was an everyday occurrence. You could run through the insane list, but it wouldn’t make you feel any better, especially when you had a feeling it would continue to grow much to your dismay.
The second you caught sight of the approaching boat, both you and Sarah were fumbling out of the hammock, slight laughter following the chaos as you guys rushed to meet the group at the dock. You weren’t sure how JJ was going to react to everything, and you were more nervous about him feeling guilty than anything else.
The nerves turned into concern when you watched John B help JJ stand and lean against him so they could hobble their way up the dock. You moved past the others to intercept your brother and fiancé, who was holding his side carefully.
“Careful,” John B warned when you took JJ’s other side, the two of you helping the exhausted boy up to the bait shop. His shirt was wet and cold, and the small gasps leaving his mouth made you want to cry, knowing he likely got left in the water for who knows how long. 
JJ managed to pull himself up on the counter when you patted the surface wordlessly. You reached for the first aid kit beneath the counter, giving your brother a pointed look. You weren’t sure if he already told JJ what happened, but considering the boy in front of you wasn’t losing his shit, you figured nothing had been shared. But it was only a matter of time before JJ picked up on the fact that you were unusually quiet.
You tugged on his shirt, helping him pull it off before your hands went to work inthe first aid kit to clean the wound properly.
“Got me with the damn anchor,” JJ cursed as you brushed a particularly sore spot while trying to clean the outside. “He wanted to run to Morroco without you guys. Told him no, I wasn’t stealing and he flipped.”
“So he has the map and the lens?” John B asked, keeping his eyes on you as you moved fluidly with your work. He wasn’t sure at what point you became so good at patching all of them up, and quite frankly, it made him sick to his stomach to think about.
JJ nodded. “Yep. Not sure how he got the scroll, actually. Meant to ask you,.” His attention turned to you. “What happened? Did he show up?”
You glanced up at him and your luck ran out at that moment. At this angle, JJ could clearly make out the hand shaped bruise on your neck and his vision went red. His fingers were so gentle on your chin as he titled your head back further, a lump growing in throat at the sight of it. “Who did this to you?”
You blinked away tears and tore the packaging off the antiseptic spray, attempting to ignore the question, but also knowing better.
JJ whispered your name, his hand trying to stop your work on his waist to pull your attention back. “Did he do it?”
“She sent an SOS text, dude.” There was a hint of anger in John B’s voice as he took a step closer. His emotions were winning over his head, and suddenly he was pissed. “Your dad came back here. Knocked out Kie before he came outside and went after her. Busted the Twinkie window with her head. Locked her in the fucking cooler. JJ, I gave her CPR!”
You took a step back when John B got too close to you and JJ. There had been plenty of times when John B acted out like this, and you always blamed it on him inheriting your dad’s quick-to-anger attitude. But now? You weren’t in the condition to hold him back and his misplaced anger was directed toward JJ.
“CPR?” JJ repeated the phrase, his eyes teary as he looked over at you. You blinked, for once at a loss for words (not that you really had any). “What?”
John B’s arm swiped across the counter, clearing it of half the little knicknacks you loved to organize. They came falling with a crash and you jumped, staring at him in shock. 
“She wasn’t breathing! Fucking lifeless, and cold, and she wasn’t breathing,” Your brother was yelling now, a fury in his eyes as he recounted the events that just occurred hours ago. “I thought she was dead, and you weren’t… you weren’t even here. We needed you, she-I… I needed you.”
JJ was moving before you had a chance to, pulling John B into a tight hug as your brother fell into a fit of sobs. You were shocked, having no idea this scared him so badly, and then you felt selfish and guilty that you had been the source of that feeling. 
Sarah had come in at the sound of yelling, having been recounting everything with Kie, Pope, and Cleo outside when John B’s voice took over. She wasn’t necessarily prepared for the two boys to be wrapped in an embrace, but she was understanding regardless. John B had been shaking since he pulled you off the floor of the surf shop hours ago, and despite Sarah’s best efforts, she knew nothing would calm him until he got these emotions out in the open.
The boys were holding their own quiet talk so  you resorted to cleaning up the first aid garbage, suddenly unaware of what to do in this kind of scenario. You weren’t a stranger to JJ and John B’s friendship, but their conversations were never regarding something this heavy. This is what you did best though, deflect and retreat back into your own mind, leaving them to figure this out on their own. 
Sarah watched you move around quietly, realizing shit had probably hit the fan between the two boys and you didn’t even have a moment to explain. She knew from experience you didn’t handle stuff like this well, especially when it regarded you because you would feel like it was attention seeking. 
Taking the steps toward you, Sarah cleaned up the remaining pieces of the first aid kit and stashed it back under the counter as you stood silently. She grabbed your arm gently, slipping her hand down until her fingers intertwined with yours and she could pull you from the bait shop to let John B and JJ have their moment.
You followed her easily, figuring she wouldn’t have pulled you away if she thought it was the wrong idea and continued back into the house. Cleo was already up at the stove, conjuring up some meal she’d learned while directing Pope as her executive sous chef. 
It didn’t take long for the rest of the group to filter into the somewhat normal routine, each person taking up their dedicated task around dinner time. The large table somehow managed to fit all of you amongst the plates and silverware. You took your usual spot next to JJ, neither of you really speaking, but his hand on your thigh said enough in the moment.
You let the group carry conversation, praying nobody would bring your name into this shit mess where you’d have to attempt to explain yourself. It felt like a broken record in your head - something happens, there’s a misunderstanding/argument, a breakdown, you apologize and cry, then go to bed. And it just kept repeating and repeating and repeating. Every time you told yourself you could move forward, something grabbed you and pulled back just as hard. 
You waited until most of the group had finished eating before starting to clean up, your part of the dinner chores alongside John B of all people, because neither of you could cook to save your life. The group slowly shuffled out, JJ giving you a squeeze and a quick kiss, whispering to talk in a few. You moved around the kitchen fluidly, but paused when John B set your nearly full plate in front of you on the counter. 
“Hey.” He was gentle as he pulled the dirty plate you were washing from your hands to set it in the sink. His free hand shut the water off, Kie’s voice in the back of his head telling him not to waste it. You almost wanted to laugh at how dad-like he looked with the dish towel over his shoulder and a hand on his hip (okay Steve Harrington). John B pointed to your plate to prove a point. “Skipping meals isn’t something we do in this house, you know?”
You nearly rolled your eyes but figured it would be better not to. “Sorry.”
John B winced at the raspy tone in your voice, but even he had to admit you sounded better than earlier. He sighed and tugged at his hair. “I’m sorry if I scared you earlier, just…um. Lot on the brain, you know? You, Sarah, JJ missing and-”
“I can take care of myself, John B,” You whispered.
His heart fucking broke.
He knew you didn’t mean it poorly, and he tried to remind himself that you had been through a lot today, but John B was more emotional than he had been in a really long time, so hearing that from you…
You noticed the instant tears in his eyes and felt horrible. It was easy to get caught in defense mode and listen to the desire of shutting people out so nobody can hurt you but yourself. You’d tried to remove that aspect of your healing process, but it had been the hardest one to beat. 
“I know you can,” He replied like you hadn’t just metaphorically stabbed him in the chest with your words. “Thanks for that reminder, oh-”
His sarcastic comeback was interrupted by you landing against him and hugging him tightly, all his fears floating out the door with your embrace. 
“I can take care of myself, but that doesn’t mean I ever stopped needing you,” You clarified as he returned the hug with as much pressure, the physical touch healing pieces of you that neither wanted to mention. As long as you were here, you would need John B, and he needed you. The world had done a lot to pull you apart (and shit, do we mean a lot?), but you’d survived it all so far. 
Before Sarah, before this treasure hunt started, before the Pogues came about, John B was a big brother. Had been one actually, for as long as he could remember. You were a year and a half younger than him, so all he really could remember was being your big brother. Granted, he wasn’t always good at it, but he tried his best and he really didn’t want to mess up now, not when you needed each other most.
“I thought y’all didn’t do sappy shit?”
You turned your head against John B’s chest to see JJ leaning against the staircase watching the two of you. He had clearly gotten a shower and was looking refreshed. Your brother huffed, feigning annoyance, “First time for everything, I guess.”
“Mind if I steal my girl?”
“One Direction headass,” You mumbled as John B’s hand rubbed across your back before he separated, letting you go so you could cross the room. Your fingers were cold against JJ’s warm skin, lightly brushing under his shirt where you could feel the rough texture of fresh bandages, likely from Pope’s precise hands. 
JJ’s arm fell across your shoulders softly, his fingers lightly pinching your skin before he gave John B an affirming nod and started toward the door with you in grasp. The air was a little chilly, the rumble of thunder nearby telling you a storm was pushing its way in and would provide you a good lullaby for the night.
JJ tumbled into your large outdoor egg chair, his hands tugging your waist to bring you with him and you laughed, being careful to watch his side as you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his shoulders. His eyes were a shady blue, full of relief and appreciation as he looked up at you.
“Hi.” You broke the surrounding silence, your fingers playing with the strands of hair against his neck. He was in desperate need of a haircut if you had any say in it, but there simply wasn’t time. 
Closing the distance between the two of you, your lips met his softly, his hands wandering across your lower back to pull you even closer as if you weren’t already laying across him. Your mind went quiet, competely occupied with the boy in your hands and the way he seemed to hold your entire universe. When a small gasp left his mouth, you shifted back, scared you moved too much and were irritating his side. 
He shook his head at your worried expression when he met your gaze. JJ’s finger brushed back a piece of hair, his lips pulling into a smile just for a moment before he frowned again. “Hi, sweet girl.”
“It’s okay,” You reassured when you realized he was focused on the bruising around your face and neck, his fingers light as they brushed over the coloration. 
He shook his head sadly. “No, it’s not. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left with him.”
You pulled his hand from your cheek and kissed his palm, holding it between yours. “Jayj, in no way whatsoever, was anything that happened today your fault. You had no idea, none of us did.”
Whether the shakiness in your voice surprised him or not, you couldn’t tell. He sighed, letting his head drop just below your chest, thankfully far enough away from where John B and Pope’s hands had been. You could feel the tightness and bruising with each motion, so you could only imagine how rough it would look after tonight. It wasn’t extremely painful, just annoying enough that you didn’t want to move too quickly and shift more than needed.
“You had a bad feeling and I didn’t listen,” He spoke, moreso to himself than you, but you heard it nonetheless.
“Look at me.” When he listened, you gently cupped his face with your hands. “I love you so much, and I would never ever blame you for someone else’s actions, whether you had control over it or not. Understand?”
He gave a weak nod, still in his head about everything and you knew it would take time to process it all, so you didn’t push. You wanted to point out that things didn’t necessarily go well on his side either considering he came back with a bloody waist and was left stranded in the ocean, but you figured he got the gist.
“Can I see?” The question was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it and blinked at him. His gaze was on the bruising again and you sighed. 
“J-”
“Please?”
The crack in his voice made you want to cry but you knew if roles were reversed and your dad hurt him, you’d want to see too. 
You shrugged the arms of the sweatshirt off and JJ took over, slowly pulling the material from your frame to leave you in sweatpants and sleep tank. It was low cut enough in the neck that the full aftermath of this afternoon was in view.
The purplish-blue tint to your skin was weird to see, but it was almost relieving to know your body was working to heal. Your breath was shaky as you took in the sight for yourself for the first time and everything seemed to hit you like a wrecking ball.
You had died. For a moment of time, you weren’t breathing and your heart had stopped. 
“C’mere.” 
JJ anticipated a breakdown from the moment he saw you on the dock. While John B didn’t tell him anything, he knew you were on a build-up from the rollercoaster of the past few days and hadn’t had time to process it all through. From everything with Rafe and Charleston, to getting engaged, to his so-called father putting hands on you… it was a lot, and even JJ wasn’t sure he understood it all.
It hurt to breathe as you sobbed into JJ’s chest, every inch of your body so tense and rattled with anxiety that you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. “I-I.. was so scared, and-”
“Shh, just breathe, baby.”
JJ held you tightly but kept a careful eye so that he didn’t squeeze too harshly. It had been a while since the two of you had a good cry session (it’s healthy, by the way), so he knew you were overdue. You hated crying, and he did too. But your therapy sessions promised it would help release pent-up emotions and you could feel it. 
Sometimes, you just needed a release, and JJ was always happy to hold you through it. 
You settled down a few moments later, overwhelmed with your tears that the day was finally catching up to you. JJ didn’t appreciate your joke that you’d taken a good nap earlier, but the roll of his eyes told you he understood your humor to cope. 
After a while, JJ helped you wiggle back into your sweatshirt and soon enough, your friends trickled outside. Pope set to work started a bonfire for the group, various blankets being passed around. Even though summer was trickling into the fall, the water always created a cool breeze that made you want to curl up under the fabric. 
John B paused to kiss your forehead before settling into the bench chair with Sarah under his arm. Kie fumbled with the joint in her hands, cursing softly to herself as she fucked with the lighter. Cleo eventually pulled the worn lighter out of her hands and handed her a new one that sparked instantly, and Kiara literally sighed in relief. 
“Morocco, huh?” John B’s attempt at breaking the silence made you burst into laughter, a few chuckles falling from your friends. Your brother faked offense at your reaction and it made you laugh even harder. 
JJ smiled as your laughter shook him too, the mood shifting to a much lighter one. Everyone fell into their normal ease, jokes and one liners flowing like your usual chaos. This normalcy was the one you’d craved for so long. To just be carefree, comfortable, and home where you were surrounded by people you loved.
You knew better, though.
Moments like these were always the calm before the storm, and whatever awaited you tomorrow would be nowhere near as kind to you as this.
--
a/n: sorry this was probably so boring and short, i couldn't get my brain to do anything LOL but buckle up for next one ;)
song for the chap: bruises by queen reneé
navigation -- series masterlist
ask me anything 
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cerastes · 3 days ago
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I want to see the Skadi and Ulpipi interactions a lot, what we saw in Stultifera, for how brief it was (they were kind of in the middle of something very important and time sensitive), immediately told you a lot about them, but something that stuck out to me, subtle midst all the happenings, is that Skadi addresses Gladiia as "Gladiia" early on, and Gladiia corrects her by having her address her as "Captain Gladiia". Skadi does so from there on -- not super happy about it; Skadi in general has shown to be pretty unreceptive of leadership in general, not really caring much for Kal'tsit as well, nor following protocol as we've seen a number of times, and it's explicit in her Files that she's incredibly difficult to work with because she doesn't care to work with others and thus most other Operators don't like her much, that's without even getting into her reputation as the "Walking Catastrophe" -- and all's fine until they do find Ulpianus in the Stultifera, and from there on, Skadi goes back to referring to Gladiia without the 'captain' part. Seeing that Ulpianus was alive, Skadi didn't have to call Gladiia 'captain' anymore, because her actual captain, and the only authority figure we've seen Skadi actually acknowledge with the possible exception of Doctor (who is less a superior and more someone she really likes), was still alive and presumably back.
That alone, alongside Skadi's often forgotten actual personality -- stoic, melancholic, reserved, uncooperative, responsible, stubborn, assertive, brutish, caring -- tells you a lot about their relationship, even if it was brief. Skadi makes absolutely no effort to hide her opinions, what you see is, in a lot of ways, what you get, and she was very happy to see Ulpianus alive. The first thing he says to Skadi is "can you stop gawking already, we're in a battlefield, pay attention, fool" and Skadi basically goes "HELL YEAH, FUCKIN' A BABY" like, for the undeniable elegance she holds in certain ways, it's great to see her character is consistent even with her very first appearance in the very first event of the game, in which she was the star alongside Grani and Big Bob: She is rough, she is no-nonsense, she likes foregoing the flowery speech and going straight to the point, and if things can be said curtly and bluntly, then why go through the social ritual of cordiality? That's what Skadi is, and that's what Ulpianus showed to be in that brief interaction. Brash and blunt as he was, Skadi likes that. That's her Captain.
Which is super cool! Because in Laurentina, you can see a lot of Gladiia as well, you can very much see the impact Gladiia has had in Laurentina as a person, with Gladiia's emphasis in the arts and carrying oneself with a certain degree of elegance if not outright arrogance, something both Gladiia and Laurentina show far more pointedly than Skadi. Likewise, just from that small scene, you can see exactly how important her captain is to Skadi, because you can see how similar they are and how comfortable, how glad she is, even, to see him again, and even if he basically barked at her frame one, Skadi knows it's who he is, and how he acts, and that's what she likes. Blunt objects made into people, the two of them, I couldn't be happier.
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blueberrypancakesworld · 3 days ago
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Hiii! Can you do one with emperor caracalla and what he would be like as a father?? I’m in a drought of carcalla fics 😭
Emperor Caracalla as a father
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Caracalla x wife!reader
warning : fluff, hurt/comfort, mention of family problems, a bit emotional, kissing
info : Anon I love you thanks for the request, Caracalla is just such a ray of sunshine he's only better as a father ;) I hope you enjoy reading and sorry for not having a cover, but today was exausting.
masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything has always been ours, never his. He may have been the younger one, the one with the problems, the madness and the insufficient seriousness for politics, but that didn't mean everything had to be ours, did it?
No, it didn't have to be because where Geta was in charge of politics and dealing with the Senate, it was Caracalla whose position was used to provide an heir, a marriage to a princess only the best for the human gods. A marriage that didn't bother him a bit, he loved his wife with all his heart, from the moment he saw the golden dress, the jewelry but above all her loving nature was what had won him over.
His sun was at its greatest and the happiness of the imperial family was only surpassed when the priestess announced his wife's pregnancy...a pregnancy that would soon make him a father.
°Caracalla as a father from the moment he heard that his beloved was pregnant from him he cried, not breaking out of his madness for the first time and apologizing to her, ,,I-I...I'm responsible...as much as I'm happy...what if our child goes into madness?" a question he asked her kneeling, his head resting on her lap and his hands clutching her tunic. The moments in the here and now were hard enough and his condition touched her, her hand stroked his head and gently made him look at her, ,,Even if the gods are not merciful, Caracalla it is our child, our little one it would not change anything” she assured him and pressed a gentle kiss on his head.
°The months leading up to the moment of birth were up and down for all three of them, Caracalla getting more and more nervous, seeming to switch back and forth between delusion and his mind. His wife helped him as best she could, praying to the gods that it would not destroy him, and a Geta who took care of both of them. But from the construction of the nursery, the preparation for their birth and the cuddles, it was a time of harmony and love. Every day Caracalla put an ear to her belly laughing whenever he thought he heard something and helping his wife as much as he could, even Dundus seemed calmer and not too demanding of his owner as if they all knew what was at stake.
°The further her pregnancy progressed, the more excited he became, talking to her and his child as if it could already hear him, ,,Of course it heard us! It's a little monkey as often as it moves,” he said, kneeling in front of his wife, who was mostly still sitting or lying down because of her belly, not to mention the pain and discomfort. Whenever he saw the moving and kicking he let his hand wander over it with hers, ,,Just as excited as his father,” she said softly and gave Caracalla another reassuring kiss, giving her everything she needed, almost as excited as the child itself seemed to be...until the moment of birth.
°The late night was filled with screams, in the empress's room the midwives helping her as much as they could and outside a crying Caracalla whose worries were growing, ,,What if she dies brother? A child without a mother? It's my fault, my madness? The midwives will die if she dies” he mumbled to himself, pacing up and down, waving a sword only to throw it away, his brother's words barely calming him down. He looked as exhausted as his beloved when the door opened and he interrupted the woman, ,,Is my sun alive?” he asked ignoring his child and running to the bed, his hand seeking hers and only calming down when he saw her exhausted smile, ,,Yes...I'm alive and so is our little monkey” she said and the midwife gave her the little boy wrapped in a cloth. A little boy with his blue eyes and her hair, a little baby who smiled a smile that infected his father.
°From that moment on, he was smitten with his son, little Solis ortus, who everyone called Solis, from the Latin for sunrise. The little one was born with the sunrise and came from his mother the sun itself, he was the joy of his parents a little baby who almost always seemed too happy, ,,He is so loving...and not full of madness” Caracalla said and wiped away a few tears when he saw the now small child crawling on the floor and playing with a few small figures, ,,Yes he is perfect just like his father” his wife said and once again held his hand.
°The years passed quickly and even though the madness in him did not diminish, erupting again and again and more often, this did not even happen in front of his son, ,,Father is fine Solis don't worry” he pressed out and retreated to his chamber, where he could go about his business surrounded by swords and blood without hurting his wife or son or Geta. In the hours he was gone Geta took care of his nephew in the little free time she had to give the Empress some rest, ,,It seems there are often two to take care of,” she said, giving Geta a grateful look as she turned from her son to her husband.
°The hours with Caracalla were hours of grief and love, she held him through the madness, took the sword away from him and if he cut her, shouted at her or even hit her, she didn't hold it against him. ,,It hurts, but having you back with me again for sanity, with Solis, is more important,” she reassured him as they sat together leaning against the bed, his head against her chest, mumbling words to himself and he kissed her body apologetically and she held him. Before both parents slowly reappeared and took care of the little prince who was their pride and joy.
°Apart from the madness, Caracalla was a good father, the skills he didn't have in politics like his brother or the talent for music and writing like his wife, he made up for with fighting and wit, with understanding and love for animals. For every hour that the ever-aging Solis spent with his uncle in the senate, with his mother on the harp, he spent twice as much with his father in the arena studying and training the animals. Dundus belonged to Caracalla but Solis, at not quite ten years old, had a mature lion, the beast of a ruler, powerfull as a sun and yet always playful at heart. Solis would become the best of his parents and whenever Caracalla noticed that the madness was not in his son, he was genuinely happy and gave his wife a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@potatoesenpaii , @cottoncandiescupcakes , @k-yurieee , @somepallings , @userchai , @ohburrryoureabsolutelyridiculous
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potchi-fics · 1 day ago
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councilor
summary: a councilor reader and councilor sevika finally meet again after not seeing each other for years.
      a councilor is what you are gonna be from now on. may torman hoskel rest in peace, but he was as useless as a paralyzed kid given a bicycle– you suppose he did one good thing: voted for peace, but all in all, he did very little for being someone higher in ranks.
“madam,” your assistant, you consider her a friend, “it is almost time for your meeting.”
       you take one last glance at yourself in the mirror, you are wearing an elegant black silk dress adorned with silver accessories, and paired with black heels. you step outside to find your assistant waiting at your door holding a paper and pen. she nods at you as greetings.
your heels click against the tiles as you signal her to walk beside you, “how are you feeling today, alexandria?” 
“i must be the one asking you that,” a chuckle escapes from her, “councilor.”
your eyes roll at the title, “not yet, child.”
      you are decades older than your assistant, you have taken her under your wing; guiding and teaching her ever since she was a child. today is the day you get assigned to be a councilor for your house, for your nation. and, you vow to do and be better than the so-called councilor torman hoskel. just the thought of the useless man taints your good mood, your lips forming a thin line. too busy judging the dead in your mind, you do not notice that you have reached your destination: the councilors’ chambers.
“nervous?” your gaze travels from the door to alexandria, seeing her offer a comforting smile.
however, you only smirk cockily, “you should know by now that i do not do nervous. wait for me, will you?”
      and with that, you open the doors, swinging it open and catching the attention of the other councilors. they quiet down as you walk inside, offering them fake sweet smiles: what a bunch of low-class backstabbing morons.
you know what they are, a bunch of money and power-hungry freaks who do not care for anything other than themselves, sharks are what they are. you let your eyes roam around the room, taking in familiar faces— though you could only recognize a few, councilor shoola, former councilor caitlyn, and councilor salo. your smirk widens at the sight of the latest addition to the councilors, happy to see councilor sevika.
“welcome, councilors,” your attention is brought back to the center when you hear caitlyn’s booming voice, “thank you for making time for this meeting. as you all can see, a new figure will be sitting at this table in turn to replacing councilor torman hoskel.”
      in cue, all of the members stare at you, their eyes already judging and scrutinizing your entire being. you strut to where your seat is located, beside councilor salo: just my luck. you lock eyes with every single one, lingering your gaze on a certain zaunite a little longer. 
“anything you would like to say, councilor?” caitlyn asks you.
however, you only shake your head and dismiss the question, “with all due respect, i would like to keep this short.”
“quite rude, aren’t you? but i agree, i believe that there are more important things to talk about, zaun to be specific.” councilor salo laced his voice with disgust at the word zaun but before he could continue, you stepped in.
you bark a laugh, “well, you didnt see me calling you rude when i noticed you guesstimating me earlier, break a leg in getting better, councilor salo.”
      before it could escalate, caitlyn cleared her throat and concluded the meeting. she briefly mentioned that this day was for them to get to know you better but you dont think that’s happening anytime soon due to the scene you displayed earlier. to be fair, you always stand your ground. you see caitlyn approach you, along with her guard dog behind her.
“ms. kiramman,” you offer them both a nod of acknowledgment. 
vi snorts, making you raise your eyebrow, “sorry, but i just find it funny when you said break a leg on getting better.”
“stop,” caitlyn tries to scold her but its no use when vi’s barely holding in her laugh, “that certainly was unexpected. im looking forward to seeing your plans in action, councilor.”
“i was only…” your voice trails off, you take a seat on the side of your chair, “biting back, ms. kiramman. tell me, ms. kiramman, do you think that this council of ours can change the predicament we are in?”
she takes a moment before answering, “i am… unsure, but im looking on the bright side of it. ive heard about you, councilor, i know that you will do everything in your power to have what you want, that is why i voted for you to be seated in.”
“oh?” you cross your legs, the slit in your dress offering them a sight of your smooth leg, “buttering me up, ms. kiramman?”
      not only did caitlyn take the bait, you see vi take a peek at your exposed limb. you lean back and smile teasingly at the two, raising your perfectly sculpted eyebrow once again— causing the couple to flush bright pink. they bid you goodbye and it amuses you how they manage to bicker, you giggle knowing you were able to fluster them. you crack your knuckles and stretch your back, your eyes landing back on her.
councilor sevika.
oh, but she is already looking at you. oh, indeed. you uncross your legs and without breaking the eye contact, you saunter to where she is— only stopping when you are right in front of her. you address her.
“councilor shoola,” a hand darts out to propose a handshake. “it is nice to finally meet you. i believe our nation had been involved in a trading a while ago?”
councilor shoola accepts your handshake, “yes, yes, you’re correct. im also looking forward to working with you. i apologize for cutting our meeting short, but i need to talk about something with council–”
      you do not let her finish, you give her way, silently saying that it’s okay— she nods her head as a thank you and makes her way, leaving only you and sevika alone. 
your voice drops an octave lower, “councilor sevika, it is a pleasure to finally talk to you. i have heard many great things about you.”
“yeah?” her gruff voice weakens your knees, “bet it’s just me killing someone.”
      her eyes roll because that’s how the topsiders are, always mislabelling and spreading rumors. they were right of course but they don’t need to generalize her people. 
so grumpy, you think to yourself. “believe me, councilor, i have. also, aren’t you excited to see me?”
      you flutter your eyelashes at her, making yourself look just a tiny bit smaller. but all you get is a roll of eyes and a huff. but you do not let this bother you, you are here to work too after all.
“for what it is worth, sevika,” your arm moves to touch her bicep, “it is great to see you here, representing zaun.”
      her arm feels like it's on fire, and your touch feels like it's on fire. she looks down at your hand on her arm for a second before subtly shrugging it off. 
she stares coldly at you, “yeah, well, i need to do something or my home will fall apart.”
“yes, i am aware. and, for you to be able to achieve that, you will need help.” sevika shakes her head to interfere but you continue, “you will need resources, councilor, you will need funding and i will give it you— i will help you get it.”
“i do not need your hel–”
this time, you glare at her— your eyes seeming to glint dangerously under the light, your arms crossing, “shut it, councilor, you need me.” 
      you take a couple of steps towards her, uncrossing your arms and putting a finger underneath her strong jaw, you slowly lift her head. you mouth the words you need me; tapping her cheek and turning around to leave the room— not even caring to bid your farewell. she sees you talking with your assistant, and getting one last look from you before the door shuts behind you.
since when were you so commanding and assertive. sevika’s core clenched at your tone, her breath hitches, and her pupils dilating.
oh.
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childrenofcain-if · 2 days ago
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I just imagine M and Mc hiding their relationship. But Mc is tired of hiding their relationship.
So M mom came to visit. But they see Mc with them like in the library and their mom asked who Mc is. But M says it just a classmate. So Mc just gets up and leaves bc they are upset and tired of hiding it from everyone.
I love angst but also happy endings lol 😅
the library’s quietness made every sound feel amplified: the scrape of a chair leg against the wood, the rustle of paper, the soft thunk of a book closing. outside, the rain fell in a misty drizzle, greying out the world beyond the arched windows. inside, the air smelled like varnished oak and old pages—warm and slightly bitter, like nostalgia and lost time.
you were sitting across from M at a heavy oak table, your chair tilted back, your arms crossed, watching them skim through their textbook with the air of someone who could afford to procrastinate with little to no repercussions.
their white cotton button-up looked softer than it had any right to be, and their voice carried the crisp, posh edge that always made your chest feel simultaneously lighter and heavier.
you were talking about nothing too important. a class project, the weather, the coffee at the campus café—whatever you could use to fill the space between the silence and everything you weren’t saying. you’d gotten good at filling silences like that. M wasn’t the kind of person who left much unsaid unless it mattered. when it mattered, the silences stretched on forever.
the silence was broken this time by the sound of quiet, deliberate footsteps broke the hush of the library. both of you turned as a tall, elegant woman approached; her head wrapped in a patterned scarf which hid her light brown hair, sunglasses perched on her nose like a spy in an old movie.
M’s posture seemed to get even more rigid, their breath catching audibly. “mother.”
crown princess victoria? what was she even doing at yale?
as if hearing your thoughts, her eyes snapped to the table you were sitting on. you saw a faint smile curling up her lips before she made a beeline for you two.
“i assumed you’d be here,” she said, her voice as gentle as it was straightforward. her accent was even more posh than M’s, her vowels clipped just enough to be distinctly aristocratic, but her tone was warm. “how are you doing, max?”
“fine,” M manages through gritted teeth, clearly feeling suddenly cornered.
the crown princess glanced at you, her gaze assessing but not unkind. “and who might you be, dear?”
M froze. you could see the cogs turning in their mind, the panic setting in behind their composed front. you knew it before they even said it.
god, you did know them a little too much.
“just a classmate,” they said too quickly, too stiffly. “we were just working on an assignment.”
just a classmate.
the words landed like a slap and for a second, you just sat there and you stared at them. at the way their fingers curled into tight fists on the table. at the way their voice trembled just enough to sound like breaking glass.
you were waiting for them to take it back, your eyes practically imploring as you looked at their rigid figure.
they didn’t.
“right,” you said, your voice colder than you meant it to be. the room felt too small, the air too chilling. “i think you can finish the rest of ‘assignment’ on your own.”
M’s eyes flicked to you, umber brown eyes wide and pleading, but you were already standing, shoving your chair back with a scrape that cut through the library’s silence like the crack of a whip. you couldn’t look at them anymore. you couldn’t stay.
“excuse me,” you muttered, and before either of them could say another word, you were gone.
***
you didn’t go far. the courtyard was empty, the rain now just a faint mist clinging to your skin. you sat on the low stone wall that bordered the garden, staring at the grey sky. the cold seeped into your clothes, but you didn’t care. it was better than the heat that had been rising in your chest, the burn of humiliation and hurt.
you weren’t actually mad at M. not really. or maybe you were, but not in the way you should have been. what hurt wasn’t the lie—it was the fact that it wasn’t surprising.
see, there were many different ways you could kill someone you love. the slowest one was to not love them enough.
not loving you enough to be open about you. not loving you enough to be truthful about you. not loving you enough to love you without secrets.
you’d known what you were getting into when you fell for M, with all their responsibilities and their protocol and their impossible life. you’d known, but you’d let yourself hope anyway.
you shouldn’t have. hope has always been a dangerous thing for you to have.
***
inside the library, victoria turned to her second-born, one perfectly sculpted brow arched.
“max, darling,” their mother called out softly.
M didn’t respond, their gaze fixed on the door you’d disappeared through.
“max,” she said again, more firmly this time.
“what?” they turned sharply, their voice sharper still, though the anger wasn’t directed at her. it was directed at themself, at their stupid, cowardly mouth and the way they’d let the words spill out like oil on water.
“just a classmate?” she repeated lightly, her tone mild but pointed.
M avoided her hazel gaze, staring down at their hands as if they might find an escape route in the folds of their sleeves.
“it’s... complicated,” they finally said, their voice low.
victoria hummed, a sound that managed to be both understanding and disapproving.
“darling,” she said after a moment, her voice softer now, “i know that look in your eyes. it’s the same one your father had when he looked at me.”
M’s head snapped up, their eyes communicating their surprise. “mother, i—”
“you love them, don’t you?”
M recoiled as though she’d struck them.
“i—no—” they started, but the words caught, crumbled.
they couldn’t deny it, at least not completely. their hands clenched into fists on the table, their knuckles white.
victoria’s voice was gentle as she spoke up again, but there was steel beneath it. “i know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t fit the mold, someone the world says you shouldn’t love. you know your father wasn’t born into this world of titles and palaces. do you think i didn’t face the same choice you’re facing now?”
M swallowed hard, their throat working against the lump rising there. “it’s not that simple.”
“no,” victoria agreed. “it’s not. it never is. but the important question is, what are you going to do about it?”
M lifted their gaze to look at her and they saw it. the quiet rebellion in her gaze, the echoes of every choice she’d made to be where she was now. they would feel the presence of it around her most of the time, but this time it seemed almost amplified.
she reached out, covering their hand with hers. “go after them, darling. don’t let fear ruin what you’ve found. if it’s worth it—and it is—you fight for it. and i promise i’ll fight with you, when the time comes.”
***
you heard the footsteps before you saw them, quick and unsteady on the wet pavement. M appeared, breathless, their hair damp from the mist. they looked disheveled in a way that was wholly unfamiliar, their usual gracefulness replaced by something akin to desperation.
“i’m sorry,” they said, their voice breaking the moment they reached you. “i’m so sorry.”
you didn’t look at them. “for what? for lying to your mother? or for pretending i don’t really matter?”
“for all of it,” M said, their voice heavy with guilt. “for being a coward. for making you feel like i’m ashamed of you.”
you turned to face them, your arms crossed tightly over your chest. “and are you?”
“no.” the word came out with more force than you expected. M stepped closer, their umber brown eyes searching yours. “never. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“i’ve been so afraid,” M admitted, hands clenching at their sides. “of losing you. of what my family would think. of the world tearing us apart. but i was wrong. i realize that keeping us a secret was hurting you even more.”
“i can’t keep doing this, M,” you said quietly. “i can’t keep feeling like i’m a secret to be kept forever.”
“you’re not a secret,” M said, stepping closer still. their hand brushed yours, tentative and warm. “you’re an oath. something i swore to protect, not hide. and i promise you, that’s going to change. my mother knows now, and soon, everyone else will too. i won’t let anyone take this away from us. from you.”
you searched their face, looking for cracks in their resolve, but all you saw was sincerity. slowly, you nodded, the tension in your chest loosening just slightly.
“all right,” you said softly.
M’s shoulders sagged with relief, and they took your hand, their grip firm and grounding. “thank you, meri jaan. i won’t let you down.”
you gave them a faint smile, your heart still aching but just a little lighter as you pressed a chaste kiss to their cheek.
“so,” you said after a moment, your voice tinged with wry humor, “am i supposed to meet your mother now?”
the corner of M’s lips quirked into a faint, shy smile. so unlike them, but it was endearing all the same. “if you’re up for it.”
you raised an eyebrow. “shouldn’t i be a little concerned about the fact that the crown princess of england is wandering around without bodyguards?”
“oh they’re here alright,” they said, their tone dry but also tinged with suppressed laughter. “they’re just good at being invisible. and besides, do you really think americans would recognize her under those sunglasses and all those scarves?”
you laughed then, soft and warm, and to M, it felt like the sun breaking through the clouds after a rainy day.
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taliseby · 2 days ago
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Belovedly Cold
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Their Girlfriend is Naturally Cold (in Winter)
Inc. Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, and Kamo Choso. Fem!Reader
Warnings: NONE! Fluffy!
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Gojo Satoru
Honestly, he’s the same. Satoru also runs pretty cold naturally and doesn’t really think twice about it most of the time. During winter he’s like a lizard, seeking out warmth where he can, often having hand warmers in his pockets. The tips of his ears would always be red so he wears earmuffs when it's cold. 
Poor baby will stick his hands, holding the hand warmers, into your jacket pockets so your hands could warm up together. He nuzzles his nose against yours and pecks your lips. “Is that better, cutie? Your fingers are so cold.” 
You guys have a total NEST in your bed because you both get so cold. Heaters up, warm pjs on, the whole shebang. He makes you both mugs of hot chocolate, his is completely decked out with marshmallows, whipped cream, and some cinnamon on top. You two sit inside your little bundle of comfort, watching movies or your favorite show together. Cuddles are a must, unless you want him sulking and huffing about it. 
Despite your shared __ to the cold, she still wants to take you out to do all the holiday stuff. See the lights, play in the snow, go see the mall decorations. He takes you with him to do Christmas shopping, letting you know he already bought your gifts and has them hidden somewhere secret.
Geto Suguru
Suguru, on the other hand, runs pretty warm. He’ll keep your hands in his so your fingers don't get cold. If that doesn’t help enough he brings your hands up to his lips, softly blowing warm air onto your hands as he cups them in his. Once your hands feel better, he softly kisses your knuckles and lets you go. Though, he can see you immediately pouting as the cold hits your hands once again. 
He will let you sit in the car while he runs errands so you can relax with the heater on if you want. If not he makes sure you're bundled up well. He’s got two daughters, so he naturally keeps certain things like scarfs, gloves, and coats around for his girls and his love. You say your hands are cold? He’s pointing to the glovebox where you find gloves and hand warmers. Ears a little red? He reaches into a little bag in the backseat to get you earmuffs. He’s PREPARED. 
Shows up at your workplace on cold days with hot cocoa/coffee and a warm meal for you and a pack of hand warmers. He reminds you to stay warm and not spend too much time outside. He’d drop anything he’s doing (cult shit) to bring you anything you need to stay warm. 
Always tries to be home before you so he can turn on the heaters and warm up the house for you. If he can’t he asks the girls if they would for him so the house stays warm. Sometimes if he doesn’t get home before you, he’ll surprise you and the girls with warm food when he finally comes home. Honestly, his favorite thing is coming home to see his three loves cuddled up on the couch in their cozy clothes and blankets.
Nanami Kento
He’s so attentive, making sure you are bundled up before leaving the house. He even keeps an extra coat in his car just in case you leave the house without one. He’d hate to see you sick, though he’d take care of you if you were. 
Honestly, his hands and feet get pretty cold during the winter, but the rest of him is pretty warm. You’ll catch him subtly putting his hands under his arms to use his own body heat to warm his hands up. He says he keeps hand warmers for you but he is often using them himself. 
Tends to take you out to lunch during the work day more often during the cold season. Just to make sure you're keeping warm and eating properly. Though, he very much enjoys getting to take a break with you mid-day.
Because he tends to get a little warmer, he lets you hog the blankets at night, though he might sneak his arms in to hold you close. That alone is enough to keep you both happy and comfortable. He gets to stay cool and cuddle his favorite person and you get to be cozied up and still have your love holding you. Nights together are arguably the best, especially knowing he’ll be there when you wake. 
Unless he gets up early to make breakfast to surprise you. Then you wake up pouty and feeling over the cold spot on his side of the bed. When he returns there is a blanket lump that has migrated over to his side, cuddling up to his pillow. He has a tray of two plates and mugs for breakfast in bed. “Dear, it's time to wake up, I made some food for us. Would you like to watch our show this morning?”
Kamo Choso
He also runs a little cold but doesn’t really notice it. Whether it's because it doesn’t affect him or because he’s grown used to it is to be determined, but he never really has much of a reaction. Except when the wind blows. The cold breeze on snowy days makes him shiver and huddle closer to you. “Are you cold, love? Do you need my jacket?” Would offer you the clothes off his back if it didn't make him look like a nudist in the wild. 
He feels bad, but he thinks your reddened nose and visible breath is so cute. He knows you’re cold, so he tries to huddle close and keep you warm. A little pout will grace his lips if you mention the cold. “Should we go home? I don’t want you getting too cold?”
Your first winter together, he quickly learns that his favorite thing is getting to stay in and do cold weather things. You made the cocoa while he laid out blankets and pillows on the couch for you. At one point you even made a blanket fort and used your laptop to watch classic Christmas movies. Some that you wanted and a few that Yuji suggested to Choso. His favorites were The Nightmare Before Christmas, A Christmas Carol, and The Polar Express. Now, he sings the hot chocolate song whenever you make it, mumbling under his breath.
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These are a bit shorter because I didn't wanna be repetitive.
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sterredem · 24 hours ago
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Secret
Billie eilish x Verstappen!reader / Max Verstappen x sister!reader
Face claim Sofie Vollan
Summary hiding a relationship from the work can be quite hard, especially when you have a noisy brother who can’t keep his mouth shut
Warning spelling mistakes, not proofread
A/N not the longest but I love, also made this in a day.
This was a request!
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Instagram
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Liked by MaxVerstappen and 64.624 others
Yourusername Bts from my life /ft max
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MaxVerstappen You did me dirty
Yourusername you did yourself dirty with looking at me like that
MaxVerstappen Valid
User1 Vibessss
User2 beauty
User4 how is she single??
User5 SHES related to max???
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Instagram
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Liked by finneas and 71.725 others
Yourusername vacay vibes
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finneas hope you had a great time
Yourusername I did!
MaxVerstappen ;)
Yourusername don’t be mean max
User6 HUH??????
User7 Soft lunch much????
User8 A GIRL?!?!??
User9 Beaty
MaxVerstappen 🎶I know something you don’t🎶
User0 TELL US!!!!!
User10 Sooo…. Now single??
User11 what is finneas doing here???
User12 cutieee
User13 💕💕
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Reddit
[r/f1related: “My father, who is an mechanic at Red bull, overheard Max talking (yapping) a lot of the time, and we know now who his sisters mystery lover is. Ask me anything.”]
U/Formulaonefan
So, my dad is an red bull mechanic at F1 and works on max’s car. While working he overheard max talking to his manger about his sister. Apparently she has been ‘talking’ to someone. They went on to talk and my dad didn’t really catch anything interesting, and he was working, so he dismissed it (this was a few years ago ago)
Now a bit more recent he heard them talk again and this time he heard some more interesting things, apparently Y/n is now dating this person (who is now confirmed to be a girl and he heard a she) and they have been for a few months (1 month after the first conversation)
Now onto the interesting part; as some of you know, max can be a bit protective, so he was telling his manager about how he is worried that she (Y/n) will be with them keeping their relationship a secret, and now to the most shocking/amazing part; he also said they when/of the relationship comes out he is worried how she will deal with all the attention/fame. He then went on to say they she (the girlfriend) is amazing and that he knows she will care for his sister, but that you can never really know with fans.
This led him (and me) to believe that she is dating someone famous with a fan base that can maybe(?) be a bit toxic(?).
This was also confirmed when my dads heard them talking AGAIN (they really need to learn what privacy is) (this is also more recent, think like one or two months ago), and this time we got SO MUCH INFO!!! So firstly; it is a singer, because my dads heard max say that they went to Y/n’ girlfriends concert and they they loved it and then went backstage to see her (so this person is a singer that is currently on tour/performing at events). He then also said that it was really weird hearing his sisters girlfriend singing about their … you know what life. That leads me to believe that the singer has a song on a recent album/ep that is about love/… life (maybe with a girl). And now onto the part where it all fell into place (if you don’t already know who it is); He said that the music isn’t really his style but he likes it and his sister loves it so that’s good, the he said and I quote “I think it is really great that she has now gained the confidence to song more and really show her voice, I think Y/b really helped her with that. ……….. Billie is a great singer.” End quote.
So here is what I gained from all this; Y/n is dating a girl, who is a singer, with songs about her, that singer is named billie. So I think we can all assume that it is billie rikishi with the song LUNCH about her!
I am very happy for them both (and fit myself cause I am a BIG fan of them) and if you have any questions feel free to ask! I’ll try and awnser as many questions as I can without exposing who I am/who my father is and putting his job at risk.
Top comments:
F1gossiploverr This is instant!! (I love it)
VerstappenFan as a billie and a Y/n fan THIS IS A DREAM!!
Queenoff1 I gind it really funny that we got all this info cause max couldn’t stay quiet and needed to talk Loud
Formulaonefan (OP) Oh yeah, same here. Me and my dad where cracking up after he came home and told me all this
BillieStan As a billie fan I am proud of her for bagging a baddie
Author Sorry for that there ar ‘t a lot of comments I just can come up with names and comments so just think about what you would say :)
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Instagram
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Yourusername dumpp
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MaxVerstappen sssshhhh
Yourusername As if you can
Formulaonefan Sooo…. I’m right..?
User1 OH?!?!
User2 even hotter now
User3 WOW IM IN LOVE
User4 I fear this might be my bi awakening (now lesbian cause I’m an f1 fan…)
User5 soooo… anyone think this is billie…?
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Instagram
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Liked by billieelish and 826.725 others
Yourusername I guess the secrets out (f u max)
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billieelish Ilyyy
Yourusername 💕💕💕💙💙❤️❤️💋🦋💋💋💋
MaxVerstappen … sorry …
Yourusername … no …
VictoriaVerstappen I also almost slip…
Yourusername doesn’t matter if you did, you’re my favourite
MaxVerstappen???!!?!?!?
User6 HEBGEHS EUSHUSHSBUSUSBYDHD
User7 OMGONG
FormulaOneFan I WAS RIGHT!!!
User8 IM FREEKING OUT!!
User9 wait….. if the Reddit uses is right…. Doesn’t that mean that they have been dating for maybe a year????
User10 THIS IS AMAZING!!
User11 power couple fr!!
User12 IM S(CREAMING) !!!!
User13 BOTH SO HOTTTT
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ALSO let me know what you think about the Reddit part! I loved making it and I think i might put it in more posts (+ a bit more media than Twitter and insta like a podcast or smt, let me know your thoughts + ideas!)
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httpiastri · 3 days ago
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paul aron x popstar!reader
a/n: told you i'd stay up until i had written something :) not my best work but i hope you enjoy anyway. take care, my loves <3
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if someone had told you before this weekend that you were going to watch paul absolutely dominate, you would've felt your heart race at the thought, but never actually believed that it could happen. and yet, here you are.
after a bunch of busy weeks on tour, you finally got a break – just in time for the last two rounds of the formula two championship. this weekend was already, even before paul's pole, bound to be great. with the release of his merchandise on friday and his alpine announcement on saturday, and with you there to cheer him on, he had several things to look forward to. to have qualifying and the feature race turn out so well was just another addition to an already perfect weekend.
the moment his silver car crosses the finish line right behind gabriel bortoleto to claim his first-ever win in the series, the tears are already prickling in the corners of your eyes. the hitech garage erupts in cheers, and you get pulled into a whirlwind of hugs by everyone around – before turning to anna, unable to hold back the tears anymore. in the arms of paul's sister, whom you've come to grow so close to, you feel yourself breaking down, and she does the exact same. when pulling away, she helps wipe away your tears to not ruin your makeup, and you return the favor, both in a giggling haze of happiness and relief and pride. so much pride for the young man currently making his way into parc ferme.
as you all hurry along, she hastily asks you if you're sure you want to come with, knowing you usually want to stay behind in the shadows at these moments, but you just shake your head. "i wouldn't miss it for anything."
paul stands on his car, celebrates with his arm in the air, before jumping down and throwing himself into the arms of his team. he hugs them, shakes hands with zak brown, and embraces his parents, before finally diverting his attention to you.
you blink back your tears as your eyes meet his through the slit in his helmet, and you can practically feel his smile radiating from his body when his arms wrap around you. with your arms draped over his shoulders, you can't help but laugh at the surreality of it; it's just so hard to believe that you've been lucky enough to end up with someone this perfect.
your boyfriend lifts you up in the air, your giggles echoing in his ears and luring out a laugh of his own, and squeezes you tighter than ever before. once he sets you down, he brushes a glove-clad hand down the side of your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb for a moment with a promise to be back in your arms after the podium.
a twinge of disappointment spreads through your stomach, but you understand; he's got a lot of obligations to tend to, and you would never stand in the way of that. you turn around when he pulls off his helmet to pose with the first-place board, facing his family again as they chat off about the plans to celebrate later tonight.
but just as you think it's time to go towards the podium, a hand lands on your shoulder. you spin in surprise, eyebrows already raised when you find paul standing there, rosy cheeks and messy curls on full display. "i forgot something," he mumbles, and his calloused palms cup your face before you can even process his words. and before you can react, he's kissing you.
the shuttering of cameras drowns out all other sounds for a moment – the fans will definitely freak out – but then the whole world fades away. his lips are slightly chapped, though you definitely don't mind, considering how gentle he is with it. your hand instinctively reaches up to rest on his chest, feeling his heart racing beneath his suit. you're not sure who started, but eventually you're both grinning into the kiss, unable to hold back the overwhelming joy of the moment.
"thank you," he whispers as he pulls away, eyes gazing right into yours. "for being here this weekend." he presses another kiss to your lips, letting out a soft sigh. "my lucky charm."
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yourusername just posted!
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yourusername hard launch: f2 race winner edition. love you tons 💙
paularon_ ❤️
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star-lights-up · 19 hours ago
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I need an AU where Cassandra and Charles grew up together so bad.
like at the little scene in the beginning of first class, maybe it’s Cassandra who finds raven? Or both of them? Charles could still do the little mind trick thing, Cassandra could have the baseball bat (she seems more feral than Charles lmao)
she and raven grow up simultaneously torturing and protecting Charles (in a sibling way ofc, not like an actually bad way like his parents lol)
Cassandra’s super smart too, she and Charles both go to Oxford together and bring raven with them.
Cassandra and raven both ruin the thing he has with the heterochromia girl in the beginning of first class, because they think it would be fucking hilarious and because they’re both annoyed about the “mutant and proud” thing.
Cassandra kind of becomes the figure Erik was to raven (without the kissing because um DUH sisters) leading to her being still connected to the family (because they’re twins, even though they have a healthy rivalry, Cassandra is always going to stand with Charles, and subsequently raven will always stand with her, making them a closer family unit and keeping raven on the X-men’s side because this is made up and I can do whatever I want)
Hank builds two ports in cerebro, one for each twin. Cassandra and raven go on their own road trip, Charles and Erik go on the usual one (because both Cassandra and raven are calling Charles on his liking Erik shit. I don’t care that it’s the 1960s, thank you very much, this is made up. They totally have some sort of affair in this universe, and everyone knows. Cherik thinks they’re very good at being sneaky.)
Charles, Erik, and Cassandra all become really good friends. In all reality, Cassandra and Erik have more similar views to each other than to Charles, so they gang up on him sometimes. Other times the twins gang up on Erik for fun.
the kids are either totally afraid of Cassandra or they absolutely love her. No in between.
buuuut all good things come to an end. Beach divorce like usual, Cassandra basically has it OUT for Erik after that. She and Hank and raven (she’s still here!!!) keep the school afloat even after Charles gets all dofp. (Basically she and raven are the ✨successful ones✨ in the family.) (Also Cassandra totally named the X men. She was like “I’m Cassandra Xavier, their sponsor, so my initial gets to be there. Oh, I guess it counts for you too, Charles.”)
I want old Cassandra to be at the start of dofp too!! She’s enraged about raven’s death (I kinda think she still would’ve gone after trask even if she’d stayed on good terms with Charles. Erik’s just off being emo and doing his own thing (and we all know how that worked out lmao. Got in jail.)), and OUT FOR REVENGE. She soooooo wanted to be the one to go back, if only so she could properly fuck up trask and torture him and Charles is like “Cassandra please no we can’t make this WORSE” and kitty’s just like “umm sorry we actually have to send Logan anyways 😅”
old Cassandra still totally hates Erik. They yell at each other a lot. Charles makes an attempt to mediate but usually ends up arguing with one (or both) of them.
back in the past, Logan shows up at the school and Cassandra reads his mind right away because SOMEONE still has their powers unlike Charles, and she’s like no, nope, I’m not getting Erik. And Logan’s like well let’s at least go get raven back, an even though Cassandra was like kind of on board with murdering him she still goes and finds raven, who’s a lot easier to get back in this AU because she actually gets along with Cassandra. I think Erik still gets out somehow during the course of this movie, and ends up back at the mansion after pretty much begging to come back because he’s realized his plans are shit or something (maybe because he doesn’t have ravens help). Anyways. Big happy ending. Cue credits
….honestly we might not need the dofp bit, but I do really want to see old Cassandra, Erik, and Charles.
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Their Resemblance Is Uncanny.
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